Little Tillich from The Courage to Be... it's rare you read something that so nicely explains one's present situation

The anxiety of emptiness is aroused by the threat of nonbeing to the special contents of the spiritual life. A belief breaks down through external events or inner processes: one is cut off from creative participation in a sphere of culture, one feels frustrated about something which one had passionately affirmed, one is driven from devotion to one object to devotion to another and again on to another, because the meaning of each of them vanishes and the creative eros is transformed into indifference or aversion. Everything is tried and nothing satisfies. The contents of the tradition, however excellent, however praised, however loved once, lose their power to give content today. And present culture is even less able to provide the content. Anxiously one turns away from all concrete contents and looks for an ultimate meaning, only to discover that it was precisely the loss of a spiritual center which took away the meaning from the special contents of the spiritual life. But a spiritual center cannot be produced intentionally, and the attempt to produce it only produces deeper anxiety. The anxiety of emptiness drives us to the abyss of meaninglessness.
Emptiness and loss of meaning are expressions of the threat of nonbeing to the spiritual life. This threat is implied in man's finitude and actualized by man's estrangement. It can be described in terms of doubt, its creative and its destructive function in man's spiritual life. Man is able to ask because he is separated FROM, while participating IN, what he is asking about. In every question an element of doubt, the awareness of not having, is implied. In systematic questioning systematic doubt is effective... This element of doubt is a condition of all spiritual life. The threat to spiritual life is not doubt as an element but the total doubt. If the awareness of not having has swallowed the awareness of having, doubt has ceased to be methodological asking and has become existential despair. On the way to this situation the spiritual life tried to maintain itself as long as possible by clinging to affirmations which are not yet undercut, be they traditions, autonomous convictions, or emotional preferences. And if it is impossible to remove the doubt, one courageously accepts it without surrendering one's own convictions. One takes the risk of going astray and the anxiety of this risk upon oneself. In this way one avoids the extreme situation--till it becomes unavoidable and the despair of truth becomes complete.

The Courage To Be, Paul Tillich, 1952. pages 47, 48.

Three poems from the hole

Dulces

The orbs of fate spin heartlessly and cruel through infinity
While the seasons make their rotations
And consciousness oscillates between
Being and non-being
And the sheep graze
And the wolves wait
All is quiet as darkness comes

On the opposite side of the same planet
The sun is rising
Everything is spinning in the void
Every possible outcome since the beginning of time
Manifests and disappears
Here we are existing in the midst of non-existence

At least the love was real
As real as all the emptiness
Maybe the empty space,
Inside the empty space,
At the heart of all existence,
Is love
Reality inside out
Maybe everything else is the illusion
Empty and whole
Two poles of one thing
Outside the mind
Just the illusion
Of separation


Here's the Steeple

Oh Church
What solemn, serious, theater
How prim and pomped with crosses,
Music makers, podium, stained glass.
When belief is the only relief,
And we go looking for a different hue.
Sitting on a wooden bench in the silence of an empty chapel
Listening to the wind and pretending to be a tree
To become the nothingness for just a moment
To choose, for a second, not to be.
Then retreat from God and cry in the darkness!
"I am alone."
This is the beginning of death


Depress Haiku

And now to become
The infinite weight of nil
As winter begins

Just for Today

So i'm growing weary of small town life. I'm starting to feel trapped by my own inventions. I built up a little reality for myself, which is suddenly crumbling apart in the food processor of my brain. The developed self-concept, which was fortified with too much old literature, philosophy, and spiritual books, is falling down on itself. The void, which once was sublime, is now as depressing as it is empty. There is no thinking one's way out of being. Action is the only way out. There is positive action and negative action. The choice not to do is rarely conscious. How much does brain chemistry have to do with this equation? In retrospect, one can find themselves buried in the reality of an equivalent unconsciousness in all the doing they were so busy participating in. With a new existence in the bottomless glass, what seemed to be a purpose driven life suddenly seems like the root of our damnation. If nothing is built up, then there is nothing to fall down. Our world is Bi-polar. We are buried in the consequences of our actions. The idea that we know what we are doing is ever crumbling, as it is ever argued.

In other news, a 25 year old man in Tokyo went on a killing spree with a large knife, wearing a stylish suit, tee-shirt, and Converse sneakers.

The action and inaction of a century of oil addiction has tipped on us and the price of black gold is skyrocketing as the dollar and our stock-market fall. As our role at the top of the food chain wanes, and the rest of the world begins to overtake us in more than just their need for sweet crude and all kinds of fancy food, our past actions start to look like the seeds of our destruction. Nuclear weapons, anyone, anyone? Government sanctioned insanity is the norm nowadays, and we are so deep in the hole of our own irrational righteousness, that the best we can generally hope for is a bad day of depression that we can blame on ourselves. If the machine is sick, how can an individual cog be well? Enter Religion on stage left. Enter medicine on stage right. Redemption in the face of guilt. Another day to trod on into the headwind of our own insanity, pressing on in this labyrinth of the inventions of our fallen selves. The solutions of today are the problems of tomorrow. Around and around and around she goes, where it stops, nobody knows.

quick note

Psychiatry and psychology are the rational side of the brain telling the irrational side of the brain that it's crazy. Religion, superstition, and belief in the super-natural, is the irrational side of our brain telling the rational side that it's crazy. There is no right or wrong, just two sides that are limited by their perspective.

tuned into modernity

I’m sitting here thinking about a certain secret society, of which I used to be a member. For those who haven’t figured it out yet, the party never ends in Aspen. This little resort community may be the capital of the world when it comes to eating, drinking, and being merry. We also add lots of healthy living during the day, like skiing, paragliding, slack-lining, tennis, mountain biking, horseback riding, river rafting, water polo, kickball, pole-vaulting, somersaulting, skeet and trap shooting, duck-hunting, bird-watching, and pot smoking, to help us work through the hangovers, and feel good about ourselves. I’m not currently taking any prescription medications, which makes me a minority here. The Aspen way, exercise and drugs, is commonplace, leaving most of the high end shopping to the tourists. Enough money in your pocket can make drug addiction look good. Relief is essential to ignoring the ridiculousness of living at the very top of the pyramid at the apex of human development. How painful it is to even consider looking down. It’s steeper than that sweet left section, cutting over at the top of Hyrups. My life is your vacation. Is that what the sticker says? What exactly could living in a vacation do to the psyche of a person? It’s sort of like living in Disney Land, except the little kids are getting old now, with slicked back gray hair, expensive belt buckles, young blonds replacing their popsicle, and billions in their bank account to boost their sex appeal. They don’t ride on roller coasters now, like when they were kids, they snort them. There are still plenty of psychedelics around if there is anyone left out there for whom it’s not weird enough. I have to be honest, and differ with St. Thompson on this one, because it’s weird enough for me; it’s way too weird for me. I work in a bright yellow store, did I have to go and make it weirder? Is the card house preparing to collapse? The modern world is not funny. The closest thing we have to a rational spirituality is called Quantum Physics. This is frightening. Ultra-violence is pumping out the television set. Horror movies are blockbusters. Satan is rejoicing, splattering himself with meaty juice in the slaughterhouse. People are having visions in common, of Jesus Christ returning to kill George Bush. I’ve seen it on YouTube. We have magnified reality to the point we have made ourselves God. While Barack Obama is taking heat for the screaming preachers at his Chicago church, who continue to sell a culture of difference, pitting human being against human being, we have yet to come to terms with the basic, rational, implications of Christianity as a belief system. For example, the premise on which Christianity is based is a fundamental blasphemy against a Higher Power or greater God, the one Christians reportedly pray to, or more specifically, the God that Jesus prayed to. Jesus called that God “Father,” which would make him God’s son. That was pretty basic, still is. Most believers consider themselves God’s Children. Which would make Jesus their brother. Jesus is the man that the Church turned into God. Duh. When Jesus said “let he who is without sin caste the first stone,” did anyone report seeing Jesus throwing stones? I don’t think so. Anyways. Politicized religion is against the founding principles of this country. God rarely serves the public good when He is wielded in the hands of those in power. At least Barack Obama goes to a church where they have entertaining preachers. His church serves the same kind of entertainment as Fox News, and most of mainstream media today. The messages these types of churches or media serve up is divisive, hurtful, and creates resentment in larger communities. It’s the same tactic politicians have been using for years. It’s not good for communities, it’s not good for society, but it sells products by making people feel unsafe, it gets people out to vote for you, and it keeps people tuned in. Consumer society works better when people are afraid. It keeps the status quo intact. Make sure to keep your dogs on a leash on the Rio Grande Trail, or you might get a ticket. The leash is getting tighter every day.

Lost in the Dancing Wu Li

What if the glass is not half full or half empty? If the atom is empty, and it looks like it is, like just a bunch of space inside space inside space, then the glass must be empty also. Whatever we put in the glass must then come from our minds, no? So the glass is full of illusion, and outside the glass there is more empty space, but the glass exists, so there is something, right? The glass is empty, but it exists, like us, and so we are the glasses, constantly full and empty at the same time. Not that it's any relief, but at least now if you hear two people debating about optimism and pessimism, you can tell them both to shut the fuck up. The glass is empty, and our brains are full of illusions. Life is grand, and not, and then again. Sometimes we fill the glass with emptiness, and sometimes it's something a little sweeter. Which illusion will it be? But then wait a minute... we also invented the glass?

Shopping

Is it me, or does shopping in your average American grocery store make you suicidal? Was it the depressing rock love ballads playing, or maybe all the colorful packaging leading the mind in a hundred different directions? There are 20 different kinds of rice, what am I supposed to do? People are having riots over food shortages throughout the world, and here in Aspen I’m troubled over which rice to choose, while people are dying for just rice. I just bought four different types of chocolate from a few different third world countries. I’m eating their chocolate. America: the beautiful, the war mongering, and well-fed dieters to boot. We are having a plastic bag competition with Telluride. Who can use less plastic bags to save the world?!! Are you kidding? Isolated in our little mountain town, with mansions popping up on the hills like spring flowers blooming, with enough light sweet crude to keep the private jet running, we are oh so responsible and environmentally friendly with our cute little hemp tote bags, with which to carry imported brie cheese, and a few bottles of water from Fiji, in case we get thirsty on the way to yoga class. Will they open Aspen Mountain over the Food and Wine festival weekend? I sure hope so, cause like Duh, we need a reminder that after the winter of 2008 we can all be sure this whole Global Warming thing is really a hoax. It snowed in Baghdad after all, for the first time in a long time, but the Iraqi people might not have noticed, distracted as they are with all the pretty soldiers we’ve been powdering them with the last 5 years. The media is currently in the midst of it’s biggest lull in its reporting of the war. We can ignore our guilt now, amidst this huge year of natural disasters. I mean you can’t blame the earthquake in China, or the Cyclone in Myanmar, on America? Or can you? We’ve pumped more carbon into the atmosphere than any other group of people over the last hundred years. It’s been the American Way. It’s built up our American Dream. Then of course, there’s the coming down, and carbon emissions don’t cause earthquakes as far as we know. Speaking of natural disasters, has anyone heard of Hillary Clinton? A total lack of faith in her ability to lead, or win, is not sexism, it’s realism. Now there is talk of what a powerhouse team her and Obama would be if she ran as his Vice Presidential candidate. That rumor may have been started by Karl Rove, another criminal adopted by Fox News, sharing his fair and balanced commentary with us on a weekly basis. Great. Barack Obama has his work cut out for him trying to pull this country together behind the first black Presidential candidate in one of the last countries on earth that outlawed slavery. But let’s be honest, we did that before we gave women the right to vote. People ask which is more pervasive, racism or sexism. Let’s consider. Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus, right? Is the sky blue, or is this still a patriarchy we are living in? Misogyny, the word has been thrown about like a flaccid football this political season. The hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women is still just as American as apple pie. It was only a few hundred years ago that our forefathers were burning women at the stake, for nothing more than being accused of witchcraft, of dancing with the devil. Men, rulers of worldwide hegemonic patriarchies crossing cultures and continents since we made God a man, have been the greatest devils, and women have suffered our sins, and loved us even as we oppress them unceasingly. American women are broadly oppressed today, through their objectification. Women seem to do a great job hating themselves nowadays, as they kill themselves with eating disorders trying to look the way our culture tells them they should. Patriarchy gives names to women like Hillary Clinton, women who stand up to men, who do not sexualize themselves and submit to the status quo. Hillary should be applauded for being the tuff woman that she is, but that does not make her a good presidential candidate. Hillary has taken on masculinity like a woman whose husband has been cheating on her for the entirety of their marriage. She comes off like a big, crazy, power hungry man in a blond wig and a pantsuit. Giuliani could probably do a great impression of Hillary if he tried out a nice yellow pantsuit and a blond wig the next time he goes for drag. Hillary is not a terrible candidate because she is a woman, she is a terrible candidate because she is Hillary Clinton. The Democratic party has a debt to pay her and she does not seem too concerned with anything other than cashing in on the rest of the political capital she earned by staying with her philandering husband like a good little girl through Monicagate. Hillary Clinton is a great Presidential candidate for those who want today’s democracy, where the well being of the many is sold for the profit and benefit of the few, to continue at its wonderful capitalist clip. When it comes to the characteristics of many of the worst presidents in our history, like our current one, she has what it takes: a lack of honesty, integrity, and a willingness to say anything to get into pole position. I’m going to shove another huge bunch of plastic bags under the sink and continue to insist on my American innocence.

the breakdown

OK, so i'm in the midst of a nervous breakdown. Have you guys heard about how the King of Thailand has lost his taste for yellow? It just happened recently. His favorite color was yellow, and every year on his birthday, masses of the population would wear yellow in his honor. He's changed his favorite color to pink. I think I may be tiring of yellow myself. It's too intense for me lately. Unfortunantly my whole store is yellow; bright, fucking, yellow. I highly advise you come down and buy something before we decide to paint the whole place pink and start selling baby diapers and strollers. I don't really want to sell anything anymore. I think i've decided I want to go back to school. Or maybe join the Army. That would be a great idea. Fantastic. Cheers from the king of the indecisive. This place is too damn yellow for me. Yellow was the new black for awhile there, but I think black may be back. I think the time has come for some serious pessimism. Time for the denial to stop. Time for the ship to go down. Time for walking back into the great unknown and not doing what we think we should be doing. At least for me. I'm tired of doing the things that I think I should be doing. I was being a good citizen, a functioning, respected member of the Aspen business community, but I think i'd rather go the way of standing man, or maybe trudge my own road, drinking beer out of a brown bag on the lazy streets of Aspen. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die! Where exactly does running a business fall into that equation? Doing stuff is overrated. I'm tired of it. In my last post I said "get a job," but I may have to revert back to my former attitude of, "if you can't beat them, join them." What the hell, if I wasn't spending so much money on yellowjumpsuits.com, I might like to go pay the prices at that stupid club they are going to turn the Red Onion into. Yes, I think it is time for retreat. Do I really need to prove i'm crazy by running an insane business?

Anyone out there interested in running yellowjumpsuits.com? Cheap business for sale, vintage clothing and art boutique store in Aspen, great location right across from the Aspen Brewery, get the ecommerce going and have a field day. Motivated, business and marketing oriented person would be perfect. I can't stay in one place long enough to run a business. Full inventory, 1000's of tee shirts, vintage sunglasses, coats, one-piece ski suits, sweaters, classic tweed dress coats. Any takers, shoot me an email at yellowjumpsuits@gmail.com.

Otherwise, at least for the moment, I will be in business. We have fine American made glass tobacco pipes coming soon for all the green machines. We'll also be getting lots of tee-shirts out for sale directly. Come on down.

Summer has arrived...

I got two pound puppies about two months ago out in the desert of Southeastern California. They are Needles dogs. Summer is the girl, and she's a real pain in the ass. She loves to pee inside. Her brother is a little angel in comparison. But Summer is a lovebug and cute as a button, and she has a doggie smile straight out of a cartoon. She likes to live outside, and do her dirty business inside. She's a wild soul I guess.

Ferris B's Day Off is playing at the Yellowjumpsuits.com store, here in Assholepen, formerly Ute City, and the Greedheads are turning the Red Onion into some Los Angeles type nightclub. They should try opening one of those in Los Angeles instead. The bastards are overwhelming us, so swin on down to the store and get a brew at the Aspen Brewery next door while you are at it. The least we can do is offend these disgusting people with outrageous clothes which will offend their sense of self-entitled style. I'm tired of all the yuppie wear in our town. Untuck your shirts douchbags, unless you have a sweet belt-buckle to show off! Get that sweater off from around your shoulders unless it's neon.

Ute City needs to fight back against these snobs! Enough already. No more overpriced club scene in the mountains please. Hello people, if you want the city scene and culture of the American Douch, please move to a city. This is the dirty hillbilly mountains of Colorado.

I want to see a neon Frank Sinatra before I die.

I need it.

I feel like a Palestinian in my homeland, getting invaded by people who want to turn this town into a little guilt free safe-haven for lazy, egomaniacal, rich-people, who come in waves, and then retreat, leaving over-developed ugliness in their retreating wake, and then they return in their jets from one of the coasts and attack again. Get a job or get lost people, but please stop by YJS.com and buy something on your way out. .

Back in Action

We are back at the store, busy as can be, moving out the winter inventory, and bringing in the summer styles. Hillary Clinton is still sqawking like an out of control parrot, CNN is coming up with new ideas for terrorists and engaging potentialities of destruction and damnation. Seems like the media is only too exited to report the coming apocalypse. Living at the end of the Age of Oil is an interesting experience. It's like being a drunk in the depths of denial, without any sense of how to recover from a deadly addiction. Laziness is the answer. Oil is like pure speed for society. The more you have, the faster you go. With enough rocket fuel you can go to the moon faster than a person can ride from New York to Philidelphia. Maybe it's time to go back to horses and donkeys. The Amish are in great shape, not much is going to change for them. The rest of us spinning monkeys are in for it though. Can my portfolio possibly survive?

Oh what the hell?

So why not just post another driveling blogpost. Blog. Blog. Blogger. What would Charles Dickens think of this? There is no money in it. We are being fooled. This is volunteer work. The people reading should be the ones getting paid. That would be interesting. Is this life in the modern world?

John and Tom are speaking, but other people are listening in on the conversation. They are talking in a large room. This space is painted in interesting colors. Colors blend together to confuse the fragile gelatinous mind. This room is inside a green or maybe a purple gel tab, with all the intensity and reflections of the maze.

John goes by the name Eagle on this Day, and Tom is playing the Crow. Goose sits idle on the sidelines becoming a Jew among Jews, who plans to passionately convert the Muslim and Christian hordes back to their origins. Goose is screaming at Bear, Tiger, Panda, and the fool swine Hedgehog is painting his own delusions.

Eagle: I can't believe the stupidity of this modern world.

Crow: You fool, this moment, this distraction from itself, this is your delusion. This isn't even happening, and these swineherd clawfaces are still being fooled by the lie of separation.

Eagle changes the channel from CNN to the History channel where a documentary, apparently advertising the new Indiana Jones film, is playing. The search for the Holy Grail, the Ark of the Covenant, and the ancient stones of the lunatic guy with the overused crazy skull helmet, all pointing to the existence of an angry judgmental God.

Bear is hungry again, and stoned, and looking for mushrooms. The Tiger is taking over America. He has a plan to storm the Capitol with 50,000 peaceful marchers, occupying the White House, the Capitol Building, and the lowest class whorehouse he can find to appease the desires of the Hippy masses. The plan looks sound, and American Intelligence is certainly at this moment planning some appropriately idiotic way to prevent this chaos, and avert the catastrophically beautiful outcome of the movement's plan to move the Capitol to San Francisco. There, in the promised land, is waiting a whole congress of Peaceful geniuses and scantily clad gay bikers with rainbow flags and adorned bazookas. The future is inevitable.

Chipmunk: Oh how fun this global garden of Eden will be! How colorful!

George W: I don't like it. I'm a decider. I've made my decision.

Jesus Christ: Are you people still talking about me? Jesus H! Christ. Shut up already and stop lying about who my father is.

Crazy Black woman on the train in Atlanta (see youtube video below): Who wants to see Jesus Christ Kill George Bush?

Eagle swoops down on Jesus, and lands on his arm, which falls off quickly because he's been dead for thousands of years, and sadly it turns out, is not sitting on the right hand of God forgiving people.

Jesus: I'm Jesus, remember me? Son of Joseph. Prophet of unity and peace. Killing is wrong.

George W: Shut up son, you talking like a damn Terrorist agitator. You sound like an appeaser. What was your name again, sounds vaguely familiar? Think my friends in the Masons were talking about you, but I can't really remember, cause I was on Acid. Heehee hee. Think I have one of your crosses in my back yard, to remind me how innocent I am. Hehehe.


This is foolishness. Plain and simple, the voice, the voice. I have no voice. I am the sickness that lurks beneath the surface of your addictions.

I am Adam, who led my people out of the garden and into loneliness and separation. I am the original fallen Angel. I have many names. I am the snake. I am the rooster. Just kidding.

Eagle: aren't we all Adam's. Just a bunch of insane Assholes, who make each other feel good then bad, then good, then bad. At least that seems to be my life. From the bottom to the Skies, then spending a lot of time in the trees.

Crow: Let's go get drunk.

Badger: No I think an AA meeting would be better.

The old claw drags on the hawbag of life,
Like it always has, and nothingness matters as much as anything.
The anguish well beneath the surface
Veiled behind the fragile lies of our institutionalization
Wants to consume us
The letters of our alphabet can't hide the truth much longer,
and we will enter a new epoch.
As cyclones, earthquakes, and tornados savage the surface of our globe
The idiots of the apocalypse rejoice in the corners
Awaiting their own demise with the vain optimism of resurrection.
Hope lies in little old grannies on rollerblades
Wearing purple hats rolling down Venice beach.
Their Kingdom has already come.
Morning whispers again.
Enlightenment in a stuffed American face,
Fat on the belly, and calories to burn.
There is nothing really happening.
Stuffed, drunk, and smoking, we all wake up dead.
The Hunter strikes, and ever loves us all.
Aloha

Young Frustrated Woman Gives Old Lady Piece of Her Mind. Amen.

Flying High

Well I’m sitting at Danny’s bar in Venice California, next to the ocean, trying to put my brain back together after a few months of bursting insanity. Things are getting back together and I’m snuggling into a fine form of unconsciousness and the good old news-fed drivelty and blank stupidity of the status quo in Modern America. I was stuck in my head the last day or two because I seem to have been so stoned the last few months that I have finally reached total burnout syndrome. I discovered that I had reached this marvelous landmark when I woke on a plane from Hawaii to Los Angeles, via Phoenix, with a nice exit row of my own, ample leg room, two blankets and a number of pillows; but the arm rests were built in on this emergency row, so I couldn’t lay down. It could have been worse; we could have been hurtling down at the earth from 37,000 feet, a wing ripped off by a giant pterodactyl straight out of the coming apocalypse. Planes, and other carbon guzzling machines, be warned! The vision has been seen.
I had to pee. So I got up and wandered to the back, because first class was before me, and I wasn’t welcome there on this specific flight, flying with the savages in the back, I was, and so I wandered back and noticed an open row with the right kind of arm rests and three open seats for me to lie myself down on. I peed, then returned to exit row 10 to collect my blankets and pillows, and decided to store my cell phones so they wouldn’t press into me when I went to curl down to sleep. I acquired a second cell phone in Hawaii a few months ago using the idiotic logic that a second phone would somehow simplify my life.
I do remember putting the phones in a conveniently located pocket in my backpack that I don’t remember being there. I went to the back of the plane and made myself comfortable in the empty row, put up the armrests and lied myself down. I went right to sleep. I woke with the light of the sun coming through the window, and felt refreshed. It was a perfect red-eye flight. It had passed like an evening on the couch. Easy. I went back to my previous seat, with the endless legroom, and the beautiful view out the window, over the clouds, over the ocean. Past the half-way point the stress of being awake, trapped inside an aluminum tube, thousands of feet above the mother planet, begins to subside, and hope rises, that all of us squirming sardines on board will land safely, and escape to the land. We landed, thank the Jesus of the Universe, and I had little time between flights. When the doors opened, I was on my way. Out the tunnel of emptiness and through the A concourse of Phoenix I shuffled, hurrying through the corridors on my wild morning adventure to the B concourse and my flight to Los Angeles. After years of the monotony of flight, the thrill was still with me. Yippee, my heart leapt anew, with the thought that I would again go hurlting into the air in a metal phallus with wings.
Between concourses, I decided to retrieve my phones from my bag. I opened every pocket. Nothing. Stuff. No phone. No time. No connection. I didn’t search thoroughly. I knew they had to be there, but the question lingered. Had I failed completely? I hurried along to the next flight, 8:57 to Los Angeles, and a sweet blond snake in the grass, who I had no way to contact. I searched again before boarding the flight. And searched. And crossed the way to report my phones lost. I admitted to the uninterested lady the stupidity of what I’d done. She didn’t flinch, didn’t seem to really even think. Everyone had boarded my plane, and she told me to report it in Los Angeles. I ran across and boarded my plane, still hoping that I would search my bags again and find a last hope of sanity.
When my beautiful lady friend finally picked me up, with worries about why I had not called, my little pleasure domes of connectedness were still missing. While she was sympathetic to my story, I have not been able to come to terms with this blaring act of clarity. The reality of my situation has still not sunken in. I am now completely out of touch. How does a grown man with his face up close and personal with someone else's bag, just go ahead and stick his cell phones right in there? Bye Bye. I am drinking the red juice of the Lords sweetest miracle, and feeling softly optimistic about the demise of life as we know it. I think it’s overrated anyway.

?

The Pastor and Barack

It has been interesting to watch the unfolding story of Barack Obama and his pastor of 20 years, Jeremiah Wright. Here are two men doing their jobs and demonstrating that we are far from One Nation Under God. The story between the story shows us one Nation under Washington and a sound bite media. Every day we seem to demonstrate the grand stupidity of our civilization. We are overfed not just physically, but we are mentally burdened by meaningless business. Everybody wants to be hip and savvy and on the up and up of our culture. TV is the opium drip of information delivery, there is always something to watch, but it never seems to mean anything. And while everyone is up to date on everything, they seem incapable of reading between the lines. Maybe it's because people barely read anymore. They just scan the headlines, and have their heads stuck up the ass of headline news. Pastor Wright is, pardon the pun, an amazingly right on guy, judging from the things he says. The most right on things he says are often what he is most criticized for. We had 9/11 coming. Duh. But our media still resists any information which might threaten the status quo. God damn America for what it did to people of color. Duh. We deserve it. Action, reaction. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Right. I hope Obama is just being a politician when he distances himself from the Reverend Wright. We are a country pretty damn slow on the uptake, and we have religion partially to thank for our ignorance, because nowhere is the Glory of God more hidden than in the Bibles of the major religions. But the passion of men like Jeremiah Wright do demonstrate an experience of God, or divinity or something beyond what you hear on Fox News or CNN, or any of the political or cultural frontlines. That passion comes from love of people, I believe, the love of a shepherd for his flock. The media and our institutional government, on the other hand, have the salivating love of the Wolf for us. Unfortunately politicians are not spiritual shepherds. So Barack has to sacrifice the truth of his pastor in order to try and save this Country from itself. Change is what we need and I have great faith in Barack Obama, and he has little choice but to distance himself from Wright to help himself, and the rest of us, politically. We have to work within the system to change the system. The media is just another arm of our criminal government it seems. They spin for ratings, and to preserve the status quo, instead of reporting the real news, which is the truth and relevance of what Wright is saying. He is preaching a righteous message of unity among religions, the interconnectedness and oneness of the oft argued about identities of God, and he is telling the truth about what a sick, pyschotic, disconnected society we are. What will set us free? The truth maybe? Or maybe we should just stick to what we learn in our classrooms and on our televisions. We pledge allegiance to a flag without ever learning what it really represents. Isn't that a crime? Why is ignorance encouraged on TV? Maybe because it keeps us hungry and consuming? Institutionalized from birth are we Americans. One Nation under God, my ass. God is sitting on the world, but we are the ones crapping on it. I pray for the rise of leaders like Jeremiah Wright. People who spread a spiritual message are necessary. And we are desperate for political leaders like Barack Obama, who are capable of listening to fringe voices, and also leading from the center. May God Bless America, and help us pull our head out of our overstuffed ass.

The Yellow Brick Road

Hello out there in TV land. Is anybody listening? There is only emptiness and the void and endless possibilities. The lost culture of modernity is writhing in its own madness. Can you feel your mind about to explode? That is called too much information making you retarded. One man cannot know everything. And the way we are defining the universe is making us far too small. We are zooming in on things that are meaningless. Looking out too far in the universe with telescopes is no more revealing than zooming in too close with a microscope. Meaninglessness. There is nothing there but emptiness once you look close enough. It doesn’t mean anything. Why are we driving ourselves insane? Hello, hello. Come in Honolulu. The capsule is expanding. The noodle is dividing like the gyrating spiraling double helix. The snake, the snake, wrapped around the doctors cock. The caduceus. Little deuce coup. A bowl of chicken soup. Endless meaninglessness and Elohim. A hmm hmm hmm. Let me clear my throat. Is it me, or has language become meaningless? It might just be because I graduated from edumacollege with a degree in English. But this jumbled mass of letters we use for communication has trapped us all in the depths of over defined reality which is constantly proved wrong by inventions of the human brain. Or is it the divinity of God? Is there any separation from existence and the creator? It’s just this language. This big fucking tree of knowledge separating us from God, from ourselves. The mustard seed. The mustard seed. Where did that long haired Cross hanging Jew tell us to find God? Where were we supposed to look again? Was it not our own faith which healed us? What? AH. Get me out of here. Ground Control to Major Tom, there is something wrong in here. There is nothing wrong out there. We don’t need to fix anything but ourselves. Help, help, my Ozone is melting. I’m melting, I’m melting. Ding Dong the Witch is Dead. The Wicked Witch, the Witch is dead. That Witch sure used to scare me. The green witch. That scary bitch. Melted her with water, but could have just crushed her skull with a hammer. But for what? She was just a crazy old gal that liked to look into her crystal ball and play with a bunch of flying monkeys up in her dark castle surrounded by bad weather. Why did we have such a problem with that? Did anybody else want to live up there? Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. We are the Wicked Witch. We are the Good Witch. The yellow brick road. There is a road all the way from Emerald City to the Wicked Witches castle. There is a man behind the curtain who would be a lot happier if he were fucking the Wicked Witch. The Witch is green. Why doesn’t she live in the Emerald City with the scared little man behind the curtain? Happy ending. Fine. Aloha.

Blogging Insanity

Well, I think a little side note is probably called for. This blog has really gone from being a bunch of stupid politics to being the damn processing machine for my alter -ego, the Silly Goose, the Fool on the hill, the middle of the night ranting maniac. This blog does not belong on yellowjumpsuits.com. It does not reflect the opinions of our happy management team, nor our philosophy on life. It may be the very opposite of what we think. It's just i'm a one man army right now. And i'm tired. And this idiotic blog of foolishness and ego and toad tossing and clawfaced petulance of a man who has read A Confederacy of Dunces one too many times. Therein lies the key to the universe. Find your claw and give it a voice. Jesse has Jesco, and I have the Goose. He's a nasty little friend. And his claw has the same face as I do. Come in Honolulu. Come in Honolulu. This blog is my claw. It is not me. I'll have it banished to oblivion as soon as I have the energy. Or maybe when I find myself a therapist that I can pay to rant at. For now, for those of you who suffer through my quest to find the me beneath the I that I think I am, and the I that you think I am. Who is the me at the bottom, the chief operating officer of Scott, the Goose, the whore of Siam? I'm working on it. Your man is hard at work.

goose control

Hi, my name is Andrew, and i'm an asshole. Born into the role as if the lord decreed. But I don't like being an asshole. This is a slight predicament. Does anyone deserve their plight in life? If one is born a pauper, destined to scrape through life, and maybe, in the end, starve to death, why? What about the rich? Or a nation of rich, like America, where many of our poor are fat, housed, and entertained? Ah the crap shoot of life and the meaninglessness of questions. Ignorance is bliss, so why ask the questions? Silly Goose, you fool, you idiotic, guilt ridden, republican turned insane liberal. Hello, hello, I seem to have forgotten my rationalization handbook. I don't feel entitled to anything that I have, and I have a lot. So shit. What am I to do? We'll discuss.

Who's the Goose?

The luckiest man in the world is the one with the saddest story. The strongest man on earth is the one who has been hurt the most. Try and kill this motherfucker, he was praying for death before he could even get a hard on. A broken man is a dangerous and beautiful thing, but not until he finds the key. For me, its been a grueling journey, and I don’t want to meet a man who is sadder. Pain can be dangerous when it meets itself in rage. Peace is preferable. See, love is the drug. All you need is love, love, and a broken heart. I come broken. I told a disappearing blond that recently. Bye bye. I think something amazing has happened. The darkest darkness leads to the void. Have to pick up the nothing matters chip before the dawn. Is it actually possible, even necessary, to love oneself more than the love of our lives, our chalice or our blade, ladies and gentlemen? My first love was a girl named Jennifer Pico. She was blond and I think I was in First Grade. The love that broke me was another Jennifer. A dark haired goddess holds my heart in a fortress on the moon. She is my defeater. But I emerge victorious. They say that if you love someone you should let them go. More importantly, secure your oxygen mask first. I never understood love thyself. I defined my whole reality on the reality of a lifetime of a crushed heart. Stupid. Do I finally love myself more than the love of my universe? The whole universe within us? Infinite love of self, infinite love for all our brothers and sisters, the human race, iwatchupa? But I won’t stop loving Jenn. I believe that my heart might stop beating if I did that. I just have to let her go. More tears. May the lord strike me down if I won’t go on loving her for as long as my body and my soul are together, and maybe beyond. Why not? My love for the people who have hurt me is my guiding light. Living in the pain of lost love has carried me through, and if it wasn’t for my broken heart, I never would have found the elusive God inside. Self-love, that’s the key. Only now do broken dreams roll off me like warm summer rain. Dreams are unnecessary in wakefulness. I just don’t care anymore. I want my #1 Jew to be happy. Wherever she is, whoever she is. Get the memo young lady. I don’t need you. I just love you. Unconditionally, like everybody else. I have a Jenn to thank. My favorite four letter word. She gave me a gift, and it’s a dandy. It works like this: live with a broken heart, live in the absence of your love and meditate on the fact that it will never happen, spend 10 years trying to convince yourself that you are crazy, that she does not want you, that you are alone, that you have always been alone, and are destined to be alone, to live in the absence of the greatest love you ever found. You live in that sadness. It convinces you that the pain of your broken family is fundamental. But the whole time, see, you love your friends, and your friends love you. Find love, and give it all away, as Mr. Derby said. Somewhere along the way, if you don’t kill yourself, or someone else first, if you can just keep weathering the pain, the sickness, the overwhelming darkness of the infinite void, you begin to love yourself. This begins to happen because you have given up on God, because you have given up on those around you, because you are empty. This is being already dead. God is whole and man is broken. To live in the lie that we are separate is breaking the heart of God. We are all the same eyes. I love you.

Spring is finally here, thank god. I felt it this morning when I let the dogs out in my boxer shorts and a tee shirt. It was warm at 8 am. I want to thank the group of Native Americans, mostly Utes, who blessed this valley on the twelfth of April, with their spirit and prayer and brought the sun back to us. If there is one thing this year has shown me, it’s that prayer works. Maybe praying to as many gods as possible is the key. I have no clue. All I know is that what has been done to this valley since we white folk took over is a blasphemy upon the mother earth. I’ve lived in this valley for much of my life, and the native spirit of this place has only grown stronger in my imagination, even while the spirit is crushed by a disgusting attitude of entitlement by the wealthy who have bought this valley up and are destroying the peace of the land with overdevelopment and mansions that are empty most of the time. There has been a curse on this place since we stole this valley. I’m one of us. It does not feel right. Aspen is a lie. This is not Aspen. It should not be called Aspen, because it isn’t Aspen. This is Ute City. The greedheads have had a plan for “Aspen” for a long time. They won. Even before the 1960’s, when this valley was full of wild spirit, where cowboys beat up hippies, and things made more sense, there was a plan to create a high end resort community. These planners succeeded, but at what expense? Every year it becomes harder and harder for workers to even afford to live here, but Aspen Ski Company manages to raise ticket prices on us anyway. Those who think they own this place, have desecrated it. Greedheads have no gratitude, only a sick sense of entitlement. Trust me, I was raised by them. Hunter Thompson had a pretty good idea of how to fix the Aspen problem, the high end stores, the ground floor real estate offices, etc. By just getting rid of this stupid Aspen name, this disgusting brand of over-consumption and self-entitlement, we could certainly make a dent. He thought Fat City USA an appropriate name. As a substitute for Aspen, Fat City is perfect. But this isn’t Aspen remember. This is holy ground. Native land, just like the rest of these Aspenized States. The owners of Ski Co should give it up and go back to where they make most of their money, the military industrial complex. People who own ski companies should be for peace, not be in the trade of weapons of mass destruction. Thank you to the group of Indians who came and gave us the gift of spring. This land is your land, and I was beginning to think that spring would never come. I feel sick and sad and I’m sorry in the name of all the white land rapers who have come before me. Aspen, we should be ashamed of ourselves. Why do “civilized” people have such a hard time understanding one simple rule: respect mother earth. Anyone for a revolution?

You never can pray enough. Lot's of love and blessings.

The Goose Wrangler

So last night this jewish girl named Jenn who should most definitely marry my friend Noah, decided that I'm an antisemitic. I find that funny considering the only thing I wanted the last 10 years was a certain jewish girl named Jenn. Thankfully I think it may be over now, and at the end of the day I find myself a fundamentalist in love with a blond. I'm a fundamentalist and I love jews. I can't help but say though, that as bad as I'd like to be in your little club, I'm fundamentally opposed to this idea of a chosen people. Hey Jews, do you guys ever wonder about the stupidity of organized religion? Do you guys ever feel like oppressed or something? Why is there always some group of people trying to kill you guys? Think it might be because you are the only religion which doesn't invite everyone in to the club. You guys wrote the fucking book man! God's Chosen. God created the fucking garden of eden for you guys and told you not to eat the apple of knowledge and not to leave the garden. But you dumb fucks had to leave. So God punishes you. Swallows up some of your innocent and rewards some greedy pricks. Sounds like ordinary reality to me. Do you really need a book to explain it to you? This goes for Christians and Muslims and all the other religions as well, especially the really stupid ones like the Latter Day Saints and the Scientologists; hey guys!! Get over yourselves for christs sake, I can't take any more of your bullshit fairy tale stories. Jews are actually my favorite religion. People stop hating jews. They are the best. Why? Because they leave you alone, they don't try to sell everyone on their fucking club of superstitions like the rest of you dumb false-god Salesman. Find God in the Wilderness, alone. That's where jesus found his father. Jesus Fucking Christ am I ever tired of the same old story. Jesus Christ. Duh. What is evolution Chuck? Get the fuck over yourselves. I Get UM. I found jesus, but there have been Christians in my way all this time. Back off assholes. There is only ONE GOD, you people are right about that. But you dumb fucking idiots it's the same fucking Goddamn God. Does that sound like blaspheme motherfuckers? It's not. God's voice speaks fucking angry and loud, I have heard his voice and he is pissed off! He gave me a message to give you. He said get over it assholes. You are no different than anybody else. You are the birds and the bees. You look like me. You are angels assholes. Start acting like it. If you don't start building Zion down there I am going to fucking kill you. OM NAM SHIVA! I'm an honorary Jew and you can ask my Noodle Soup or my attorney if you are not convinced. WELCOME TO THE HUMAN RACE BITCHES. What you believe doesn't make you any different than anyone else. Duh. You invent planes trains and automobiles but you still haven't figured out that you are all my children? That's what god says fools. Duh. Stop fucking killing each other. Obey the commandments. Fine. Everybody be a good Jew Goddammit. I'm tired of this shit.

update

OK. So here is where it stands this 7th of April in the year of our supposed lord 2008. We'll take into consideration that we really don't have a clue what's going on. We are somewhere near the edge of post-history; and won't that be fun. Who returns to the jungle before the plague will be set free. Listening to the Grateful Dead in the yellow store, just had a smoke and feeling tremendous. It's still snowing here in Aspen. This has been the craziest winter I can remember. I went to Hawaii for a month, came home, and it hasn't stopped snowing. Highlands Closing party was colorful and more snow. I left early but heard there was a bonfire, thank-god. I hope someone prayed for summer and thanked the snow-gods for this bountiful year. It snowed in Baghdad by god.

this guy gets it

Family Guy.

“Hi Andrew. I’m your dad.” That’s how my father greets me pretty much every time we talk, across the seas, in his thick Greek accent. If his English were a little more refined, he would say: “Andrew, this is your father.” But if he said it like that he would sound like a goofy Greek version of Darth Vader. Also, every time we talk he tells me to be careful. “Andrew. Be very careful in everything you do.” I’m a bastard child and live up to the name pretty frequently. It took me years to figure out that what my father was really trying to tell me was to wrap up my wiener so I don’t get some woman pregnant and end up with a kid that I won’t get to meet till he’s 16 years old and already a man. He was dishonest about my existence with his new wife and the children she bore him, and he paid for it, like we all pay for our lies. He has made reparations to his now ex-wife, and with his other children he is the most devoted, hard-working father I have ever seen. Even with me, he calls more regularly than anyone in the family who raised me. I’ve never seen a man so full of love and madness. The Greeks are a wild bunch, and my father is king of the crazies. He stalks the streets of Athens with sweaty pits. We have run together through the streets trying to get me my Citizenship. So it goes in Hellas, and I am my fathers’ son. God bless the Greeks and all Ubermensch. Aloha.

What on earth have I been talking about all this time? I’m tempted just to delete this whole mess of ranting madness and start over. Trying to rewrite the steps for people who don’t want to be sober? That’s really fresh Scotty, you stupid ass. I get it. I’m just starting to get it. I’m just another selfish writer, trying to get something off my chest. It’s like one big therapy session. I just vent. Blah blah blah. I’ll try and do better. I think I’m just writing because my muse keeps ignoring me. I’m sorry for writing so much negative stuff over the years. I’m a frustrated guy. I’m just trying to come to terms with this reality, and it’s driving me crazy. I may be well over the edge, and many of you may already know it. I hope I can hold it together long enough to figure things out. I feel like I may be getting there. Insanity lurks at every corner in this room of self-realization. This is a dangerous game. I hope somebody reads this drivel. I love you.

The Goose.

13th step

Sex with newcomer.

6 through 12

Go to some meetings, get taken by the dogma, make things right in your life, get over the dogma.

5th Step

Talk Story.

4th Step

Wait a minute. Did I do something wrong? Gotta make the list.

3rd step

What is Humility Chuck? Can I please buy a vowel?

2nd Step

When the rooster says wake up, WAKE UP!

1st. Step

Admit that we actually have no clue what is really going on, just a bunch of stories human beings have told themselves to explain reality.

I get it. I get it.

Alright. I get it. You’ve heard it all before. The same old story. The same old story. I’m in love with Jenn. I love the Grauer. Blah blah blah. My family has forsaken me blah blah blah. What a sob story. Why am I the luckiest guy in the world? Why do I have the best family in the world? They always did right by me. I’m an Aquarius. Codename Yellowfish, Dignan, I am the Rooster, I am the Eggman. Come in Major Tom. Earth to Major Tom. Groundhog Control is calling. There’s nothing I can do. Major Tom. Where is my lionheart? Where is the truth? I certainly have no idea what I’m talking about. I’m just a crazy man some Yellow Naropa Shaman hit with a canoe. If he hadn’t given me the crow drug I might not be alive today. It takes a long time to grow up. I’m only 28. Leave me alone and let me follow Mya. I have no idea what I’m talking about. Do not listen to me. Please leave me alone in my wilderness. I just want to be alone YemaiYA! Leave me with my father in the wilderness. Do not listen to me. I am disappearing. Listen to your leaders they are really smart people and know exactly what they are doing. The Real Lama. The King. Jesco. Elvis. Mr. Marley. We got to have Kaya now. Give me Wine. I’m a drunken Wino. I’m nobody. I have no idea what I’m talking about. I have the Curse of Lono. Do you ever feel like you are Channeling Hunter S. Thompson? Or Dickens or the Spearchucker? Or maybe my Grandmother. The TUTU Queen. Is it me, or do I sound Crazy? See you in Hawaii. Aloha. Enter the Dragon. Don't listen to me. Listen to Lee Scratch Perry, or Israel Vibration, or Culture. That where I get my material. Listen to them. I'm tired of talking. I can't stop talking. I just wish I was the computer. But they are busy deprogramming the Satan Computer. We all have a claw. Jesse is three people. He is Jesse, he is Jesco, and he is Elvis. Jesco is King. Remember that. King of the people. Be the Dancing Outlaw. Live it. I'm just a fun guy to party with. I don't take myself as seriously as you people think. When i'm alone I just laugh at the cosmic joke when I'm not crying about how asleep everybody is. Your Shepherds are leading you astray. We are all just reflections of each other aren't we? Those of us that know how to read between the lines. It's the oldest story in the book. We all have a the hammer and the cup. The Chalice and the Blade. Two parts of the same thing, right? Existing in the Holy Trinity. Listen to Culture and fly away home. Cockadoodledoo from your mumbling madman of a friend. I just want to hang out on a farm with animals. I molest goats. I talk too fast and barely sleep. I wake with the cock mr. Loco Moco. This is Rainbow Country. I don't want to leave. It's dirty, full of mosquitos, in the middle of the jungle, you probably won't like it here. I just got woken up at 1 AM by a mad rooster who told me to drive to Puako to get a wireless signal and write this for you. Has the curse been lifted? It may already be 2012. Does anyone have a match?

what?

We all live in the cage, and until we get our claws out, we won’t get out. We are human creators. We are who we tell ourselves we are. And we are always a we, because we are One. The idea of the individual is a lie in terms of spirituality, which we cannot get away from because it is our nature, but separation from the truth has made our conscious lower selves feel separate so that we will mate with our opposite, that which is another part of ourselves. This is just the Zen of nature. We are all still connected in a higher realm. We are all human down here. Part of the same blanket, but living the human drama, so that we can do our jobs. People have done a great job, even in their wars, and in their inventions we have accomplished a lot, even amidst our idiocy. We have been marvelous creators. We are living at the apex of civilization, but as always it is time for us to evolve. We have to choose our reality. We are not choosing the one which is most beneficial to all our brothers and sisters here on earth. It is also not the best one for our mother the earth, and our father the Sun gets pissed when we don’t take care of his lover the earth, this sweet little loving planet which spins around him. The holy spirit is Zen, Om, mother energy, it’s just the infinite amniotic fluid of space, dark matter, deep love and perfection. That is the infinite possibility pool.

Evolution

The holy ghost is mother

what it is

What are we doing here? Nothing more than redefining language, culture, living at the apex of evolution, isn’t it time for us to evolve? So what do we do? First we accept that we are no better than anyone else. We are all relatives. We all came out of Africa, where we started standing on our own two feet millions of years ago. We are one human race. We are all connected to the most high. We all depend on the dance of this galaxy to keep us alive. We’re just in orbit around the sun, getting the seed of light, and we live. We have so much to be grateful for. This is not a cruel world. Death is not something to fear. Death is the great sacrifice, it is how we continue to live. Life feeds on death, the dance of darkness and light, both parts of the same thing. Yin and Yang. Male and female, equal parts of the same thing. We are made for each other, gloriously fitting parts of One. Seed and Womb. Woman, mother, where we come from. Mother just as holy as Father. Mother Earth just as Holy as the Sun in Heaven. What is Heaven? Space. The infinite possibility pool. The amniotic fluid of the universe, the soup from which we emerged. The miracle of infinite possibility which gave us the gift of light and matter. Welcome to Mindhead, the Ultranet, the superconsciousness of which we are all a part. It’s time for us to rocket into the fourth dimension. Let’s put an end to the lie of separation and begin to build Zion. Heaven on Earth for our people. Iwatchupa. Wetaha.

Just cruising in Hawaii.

All my love,
The Goose Wrangler

enough with the yellow clothes you lying clawhorse

Will Hillary please stop wearing yellow! Yellow is the color of truth, beauty, and light, but there is very little of any of those coming from this lying lady. This woman is so dangerous it’s crazy. How dare she say that she is any more qualified than Barack Obama to run this criminal Nation. I’m not sure that even with God at the helm of this broken ship it could be steered away from its scary future, but one thing is sure, at least Obama has a chance of winning a general election where she does not. Yesterday she spoke to an audience with a group of generals behind her, who were there to show their support for her. This makes me even more wary. Last time she was in the White House, as the guest of her philandering husband, we should not forget that they bombed a civilian city in Europe for more than two months straight. She says that her former experience makes her more qualified to run this country. Does this make sense? On some level maybe it does. Let’s explore. This is America, but we are a fallacy of America. This is not really America, just a hollow shell of a brand name with a heart of selfishness and greed. We were never designed to be a superpower. Our founding fathers did not imagine us having a standing army. We became independent because our people did not feel like paying for a British Empire that was not giving us anything in return for the taxes we were paying. Our founders did not want to pay a corporatocracy, based in London, which was leaching the life and freedom from every “developing market” they visited with their “progress.” Instead of the freedom our founders fought for, we ended up with a London in Washington D.C. This is a crime against the true America. Washington, and the big money interests which own it, clearly have a liking for Hillary. More than anything, I believe it is because she doesn’t have a chance of winning the White House against John McCain, but even if she did win, is there something about her which gives them hope? Could it be that she has proved herself at staying on board a rotten ship and sailing it on at the expense of what is right? She stuck with her lying, deceiving, rotten husband. Maybe the rotten people out there know that she will stick by them if she makes it all the way to the White House. We can’t let that happen. I’m not sure that Obama can even begin to fix our terrible problems, but at least he believes in the Constitution. He used to teach it. Would he dismantle our military like a true patriot would? Would he set about directly trying to make amends to all the countries we have harmed over the years with our policies of greed? Will he immediately institute a policy of nuclear disarmament to set an example for all the other country’s we are bossing around in hypocrisy? I doubt it. And so by becoming our next president, which I pray he will, he will also take control of a criminal ship, and thereby cement his own criminality in the annals of those who will come to judge us. But if he can only give us hope, as he has already done, then his rise will be his own sacrifice to us, and maybe he will become enlightened and begin to fight the pervasive sickness of greed and pride that is rife in the leadership of this now greedy and prideful country. Let’s just hope he makes it that far. As for Hillary, she is like America, the opposite of what it tells us it is. She is not a true liberal. She is just another monocratic Washington D.C. insider, in the pockets of the military industrial complex and other big money corporations. She wears yellow, which is the color of peace and enlightenment, but if she had brains enough to be a good president, she would have brains enough to know that she is the worst possible candidate for her party. If she wants to see a democrat in the White House come 2009, then she would be wise to take a vacation, and wear her yellow somewhere other than on the campaign trail.

off off and away

Well, it's a brand new show today, and I'm at the Aspen Airport. Somebody last night was telling me how uncool Aspen has become, and that this website called fuckaspen.com is really catcing on. Aspen is pretty damn uncool, except in winter. I can admit that. But it is still my favorite place on earth, and we all just have to face the fact that living in this mountain paradise means being subjected to an extremely high concentration of utterly ignorant greedheads, suck-leaches, social climbers, star-sluts, douche bags, and the occasional clawrag. But the skiing is great, and it's holy land. Seriously. You people should take care. This is native land. These are the spiritual grounds of the Ute Indians, and their spirits are everywhere. Show some respect. Aspen is just a name. This is not Aspen, just like this Country is not America. Aspen is more than just Fat City USA. Listen to the Elk. Listen to the Fox. Listen to the Crow. Slow down. See you in Hawaii.

the future of openmindchuch.com

So this church of the open mind thing is pretty simple and it’s damn fun. I can almost guarantee that it will increase your frequency and expand your mind. That’s really the whole point. Expansion into our true selves. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. What path? No path. Just an open mind. We are only the human race. There are no requirements. All the enlightenment has been written by the genius of mankind for thousands of years. It’s everywhere you look, buried beneath the surface of what has been hiding it from us. The lie. The lie that we are separate from God. The lie that we are fallen. The lie that this is not still the Garden of Eden, that this is not still heaven we are living on. Heaven and Hell are right here on earth, not up in the sky somewhere. We invent our existence, because we are the conscious creators. Simple. Welcome to Mindhead. The church of the open mind. We are small, we live here. The sun and the earth, the perfect symmetry of the universe and our little galaxy, all spinning perfectly so that we get life every day, in the form of light. It’s a miracle. We are at the mercy of the Universe. We live only by the miracle of life. Birth and death, decay and resurrection. We are nature. We just happen to think about it. That’s why animals love us so much. Because we have the weight of existence on our minds. We think, therefore we are confused. In stillness, action. In action, stillness. Stop. It’s not what we’ve been taught. Here we are. We don’t understand everything, and we never will. We just keep expanding and evolving. Let’s go with it. It’s the best trip for a human being on earth. It’s all true if we say it is. We are the deciders. What beliefs and what actions will be most beneficial to all life on earth? That should be our foremost concern. Then we act. Then we sow, then we reap. Spread the message of light, love, hope, faith, beauty, grace, joy, wonder, truth and peace. We are the gardeners. We play a roll in this game of life like all the rest of matter, the rock, the cockroach, gravity, water, dirt, fire, the ant, tree, and lion. We have to decide when we want to hit the delete button on this foolishness we’ve been taught. We’ve been taught a lot of bad ideas. The idea of sin is a lie. There just is. Sin is just the fear of decay. Death is necessary for life. Each of us in our death is a sacrifice to life. We should be happy in our demise. We are here to care for life and to pass the garden on to future life. It is our job to tend this garden of Eden, the earth. Mother earth and father sun give us life. Their dance and endless love for each other is the magic that needs no greater god. We are reflections of that perfection. We are the top of the evolutionary chain here on earth. We are the Ubermensch. Consciousness evolved on this sun soaked earth, just as we did. We’ve never been further along than we are now. Every day is another potential step away from Hell, and toward Heaven. Hello human creators out there! We are making things the way they are. We have been serving the wrong master. We have been serving delusion, distraction, selfishness, greed, and separation. We have not been serving our master. We have been ignoring our higher self, the superconsciousness of which we are all a part: the Ultranet. We are at the doorway of the day we have never experienced before. It is time for the evolution of the human mind. Simple. Welcome to world of angelegenheit. You’re it.

The faster it gets hard, the better it gets.

Coming Along?

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It's been busy times lately. Very busy. I've been lost in a deep sleep of work. In the context of my life, being a sort of regular, hardworking guy starting a little business, doesn't really make a ton of sense. But then on another level it does.

A little hard working Greek sperm engaged with a rich little egg, and here I am, far far away from the little island I started out on. But who am I really? Spirit in body? It's difficult to say. The way of the spirit is certainly broad and spacious. It's expanding. It's everywhere.

A pretty wise guy once said that the most powerful force in the world is an idea whose time has come. I think awareness is coming, and lately it seems to be wearing yellow. A new revolution in your Mindhead. It's not really more complicated than a superconsciousness of which we are all a part. Simple.

Up here in the land of the Most High, it's a lot brighter. This amazing little adventure, this broad domain of potentiality, is just a blink away. It's only a matter of manifestation now. It's each of our own little choose your own adventure story, but there is one story that we all want, and until we all choose it, none of us will have it. Will we choose the bright one now that our time has come? Ubermensch?!!

Come join the yellow revolution. It's in your Mindhead.

State of the UNiun

I didn't really feel like listening to Bush's State of the Union speech, so I figured I'd just give it to us all myself.

All is well here captain.

Nothing to worry about at all.

Economy? Check.

Nuclear Weapons? Check.

Privatized racket on about everything, even shitty healthcare? Check.

Roger Airforce One. Come in. I'm wearing my flight suit. I've got my bible in the glove compartment and a whole shit load of Cocaine coming my way from Columbia, cause the Apocalypse is coming motherfucker. Dicky Cheney told me last night over S&M, and i'm going out in style. Little Baby Bush style!! YEEFUCKING HAW from your sneaky, greedy, fucking asshole of a president. Fuck you little people, it doesn't even matter what color you are anymore, you just ain't us, so you get fucked.

How do you like this 150 billion dollar stimulus package I'm about to shove up your ass? We're going to cut the corporate tax rate and probably put some more Coca-cola machines in our little greedhead laboratories; I mean schools. How does that feel America?

One more year to deliver the Apocalypse motherfuckers, while i'm still up here flying this fun little spaceship with my pathetic patriarchal god.

State of the Union, Hah. Don't make me laugh. I laugh like a monkey.

Wisdom from Zarathustra

In the mountains the shortest way is from peak to peak, but for that route thou must have long legs. Proverbs should be peaks, and those spoken to should be big and tall.
The atmosphere rare and pure, danger near and the spirit full of joyful wickedness: thus are things well matched.
I want to have goblins about me, for I am courageous. The courage which scareth away ghosts, createth for itself goblins--it wanteth to laugh.
I no longer feel in common with you; the very cloud which I see beneath me, the blackness and heaviness at which I laugh--that is your thundercloud.
Ye look aloft when ye long for exaltation; and I downward because I am exalted.
Who among you can at the same time laugh and be exalted?
He who climbeth on the highest mountains, laugheth at all tragic plays and tragic realities.
Courageous, unconcerned, scornful, coercive--so wisdom wisheth us; she is a woman, and ever loveth only a warrior.
Ye tell me, "Life is hard to bear." But for what purpose should ye have your pride in the morning and your resignation in the evening?
Life is hard to bear: but do not affect to be so delicate! We are all of us fine sumpter asses and assesses.
What have we in common with the rose-bud, which trembleth because a drop of dew hath formed upon it?
It is true we love life; not because we are wont to live, but because we are want to love.
There is always some madness in love. But there is always, also, some method in madness.
And to me also, who appreciate life, the butterflies, and soapbubbles, and whatever is like them amongst us, seem most to enjoy happiness.
To see these light, foolish, pretty, lively little sprites flit about--that moveth Zarathustra to tears and songs.
I should only believe in a God that would know how to dance.
And when I saw my devil, I found him serious, thorough, profound, solemn: he was the spirit of gravity--through him all things fall.
Not by wrath, but by laughter, do we slay. Come, let us slay the spirit of gravity!
I learned to walk; since then have I let myself run. I learned to fly; since then I do not need pushing in order to move from a spot.
Now am I light, now do I fly; now do I see myself under myself. Now there danceth a God in me.--

Thus spake Zarathustra.
[from pg. 24, Thus Spake Zarathustra, Friedrich Nietzsche]

In Today's News

I'd like to welcome all the X-Gamers to Aspen. The news looks bad lately, outside of this little mountain paradise. It's getting beyond terrible. Now that we've lost the potential entertainment that Heath Ledger might have brought us, will we suddenly find ourselves enlightened? I'm sitting in my kitchen den in the mountains. Outside it's cold. Snow is high white in the moonlight.

The world has gone to hell, but you'd be hard pressed to notice skiing Ajax. One need look no further than Google news though. It's chaos in the Middle East. The global markets are tumbling in response to the US financial crisis. Our government is proliferating weapons of mass destruction, we are going to put bombs in space, nobody seems to really care. The citizenry just keeps paying the bills. We just keep greeding along, consuming as we go.

I'm up here on the mountaintop, trying to start a business, getting ready to pay this government more so I can be a "law abiding citizen." I met with a lady from a payroll company today. I got to learn that for every dollar the business pays an employee, both the business and the employee pay a portion to Uncle Sam. Let me make that clearer. I get to pay the government for the privilege of paying an employee, who then has to pay for his right to get paid. Now if we were getting a little something in return, like health care, a law-abiding government, or some damn rights around here, I wouldn't have such a hard time with this suck leech of a federal government; but we are not getting a legitimate product for our money. We are being robbed and criminalized at once. More than fifty percent of the money our government collects from us goes to this military budget. We have a higher percentage of our population incarcerated than any other Nation on earth.

Wake up people, we live in a police state. Just look how armed you are compared with how armed the military and the police are. Who is being protected? Do you really feel safe? Here we are in the richest country on earth, and we don't even have universal health care. Yet we just keep paying these bloody bills for our criminal government. We just keep gorging at this all you can eat buffet, as our souls and our future wastes away? I'm just going to be honest. I fear my government.

Thomas Jefferson warned us. He said: "when the government fears the people, there is liberty. When people fear their government, there is treason."

Ski Conscious out there.

Letter From 父亲 Krishna Mutter 母亲

My children, why do you remain in the darkness? You are angels. You are matter. If you long to see miracles, look around. Can you see airplanes and helicopters flying through the sky? Are you speaking across continents with wireless communication devices? Are you living in something you can’t believe is true? Do you feel alone, disconnected, and unfulfilled? Have you spent your life being taught to be someone other than yourself?

What you have been taught to see as normal is nothing of the sort.

We have forgotten our true nature, but the truth is still with us. We have inherited from our ancestors everything we need, all the knowledge and information, and all the tools, to rise and become the angels that we are. We are one. We are life. We are matter and we are energy. This is our nature.

Energy is light, and matter is meaningless without it, just as energy has no purpose without matter. The earth may as well not be here without the sun. All would be darkness with no perceiver to observe. Why do you think that the earth revolves around the sun? Because it is what keeps it alive? The earth revolves around the sun and goes on living, and therefore we are alive. The interaction of the earth and the sun, two forces, one light and one dark matter, covered in lots of water, is the reason for life. Simple, no need for understanding what a nucleon is. What is the meaning of life? One equation: light plus matter.

The meaning of consciousness is another question entirely, but i’m sure we’ll get to it some day.

So the earth revolves around the sun, and the sun just gives consistent light, all the time, endlessly, as long as we keep hooping around it, slowly rotating in such a way that land and sea, on all the surface of the Mothership, and all her inhabitants, get Light. Maybe father sun shines so nicely on us because we are the only ones in the universe who seem to notice.

Vater and mutter, the German roots of the English words for father and mother reveal more about what we already knew. We like to think we know more than we’ve ever known before, which is true, but it is also true that we know less. It is difficult to know too many things at once.

Mother, mutter, matter, father, vater; begin to picture a taijitu, the traditional symbol for yin and yang. Even more interesting is the German word for matter, angelegenheit. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not an angel, nor that you are a fallen angel. You just may not have woken up yet. We are angelegenheit. We are creatures of the Light. Much of our language also comes from the Greeks. Hellas means the Light. It’s time we start forgetting much of what we’ve learned because it is no longer serving us. It’s time to start learning what we’ve been taught to ignore: The Truth.

There is a new morning coming, each day, each breath, each moment. NOW.

We have a Mother and a Father. Holy Mother and Holy Sun.

Hill Hill The Dangerous Fruit

Hillary is a dangerous fruit. Do not be fooled by the whistles and the bells. Do not be distracted by the well dressed Mormon, with his slicked back hair, or the empty war hero shell of that pasty white old man, or by Hillary's new found voice. Do not be distracted. Hillary Clinton whined like a little school girl whose mommy wouldn't buy her a pair of earrings and suddenly she won the New Hampshire primary. Sure it's hard. It must be damn hard getting up every morning and being so full of shit.

This woman is a bag of nothingness capped with a little total sell out. If the media had a brain it would have chosen, as it has, Hillary as it's choicest candidate because she is the most likely of any possible Democratic candidate (Hugo Chavez excluded) to LOSE the 2008 Presidential election. You could run a Republican Mickey Mouse against her and he would have a hard time losing to THE HILL. Hillary would be the Democrats biggest mistake since Dukakis, but you wouldn't know that watching the news. She has been the one to beat in the primaries.

Corporations prefer to have Republicans in the White House. The mainstream media is owned by corporations. 1+1, here we go. For a second, when Obama defeated her in Iowa, they thought the game was up, and the reporters were ready to report it. For a second the truth was out. It just slipped out, but it was as if everybody in the Media already knew. The headline was pretty simple, Hillary Can't Win. Obama was the obvious winner over her, just like any of the Republicans would be. But then the spin machine went to work, and New Hampshire watched, and the next thing anyone knew, we were convinced Hillary had a beating heart behind that wooden exterior. Maybe she does, but I assure you it is not the heart of a good president. Also, it is irrelevant, because in this fear riddled Nation she has about as much chance of defeating McCain, Romney, or Giuliani as Barbara Walters does. Let's not forget that nearly 50% of the country has already decided that they would not vote for her. That does not bode well for her electability.

But anyways, we are back to square one yet again. Will somebody please wake up the Democratic party and get people the memo. Hillary is a terrible candidate. Primary voters beware. Do not be fooled. Do not be Hillwinked. A vote for Hillary Clinton is a vote for another Republican president.

Well how bout that?

This is my 100th post! Wow. I'm stressed out and getting desperate in the midst of a series of snowstorms down here on Red Butte Drive. They don't stop, there is little sunshine or blue-sky, and it's beginning to make me feel insane. The skiing has been deep and grand, and the snow is piling up like the bullshit in Washington.

I can't seem to get away from current events, and this heavy snow up here in paradise is making me ever more aware of a dark sense of impending doom for my country. If only our founding fathers were here now to see what has come of their grand visions for the manifest destiny of this continent. They would all be disgusted. Washington and Adams would quickly grasp the failure of their ideas about a strong National Government. These two, smart men both of them, would notice, upon returning to this once pristine and beautiful land, that it had been raped, and that the Federal Government, which they had insisted was so important to unify the country and prevent chaos amongst free states , was chiefly responsible for terror at home and around the world and assorted crimes against humanity and the rule of law. Washington would have realized that Adams was a greedhead and would have been pissed that he'd been fooled by Adams false humility and calm, calculating, demeanor. Adams would look at Dick Cheney and see a chilling resemblance to himself. Jefferson, if armed, would immediately shoot Adams, probably in front of a Wal-Mart, and then he would find some hippies, give them guns, and start another revolution.

These men, were they here today, would be absolutely astounded at the absolute failure of the free-market experiment. They would be astounded at the inequity and human suffering it has allowed, indeed spawned, in the name of "freedom." They would probably feel bad, but they would be able to forgive themselves because they did not know what they were creating. Had they known what their creation would become, they would have gone the way of Canada or Australia, and would not have declared themselves independent of England when they did.

They would watch the 2008 campaign and they would say, in regard to the importance of an independent media and an educated and skilled population, "We told you so." They would be most of all shocked by the idiocy of the general population, noticing, for example, that in order for Hillary Clinton to have a surprise win in the New Hampshire Primary, all she had to do was whimper like a weak little school girl who's mommy wouldn't get her a new pair of ear rings, and then let the media run with it. God help the opponents of the candidate the media has chosen as the best for ratings.

More on Roger Clemens to come.

haiku for a snowy day 2008

we are born then die
just one long day and much sleep
in between

Hingis Back in the News

One could only look at world sport, and ignore all the foolish war, murder, oppression, injustice, bad leadership, and still get a pretty good idea of how stupid the civilized world is. Ms. Hingis, a successful tennis star who has a terribly fantastic ass, has been banned from the sport for two years and is going to be forced to forfeit some of her profits, all because she tested positive for cocaine.

I have one question. Was she doing cocaine while she was playing her match? If so, I don't really see how that is much of an advantage. I mean, I'm not a cocaine user myself, but from what I understand, you don't stay high that long, and from what I can tell from the coked up people I run into generally here in Aspen, who frantically and savagely scan the room while they blabber meaninglessly in the most serious tones, it's not the best for the attention span either. What, was she running to the service line every 20 or 30 minutes to do a bump?

I just think this is stupid madness. All these sports people getting in trouble for doing drugs is absolutely retarded. I mean listen, lawyers don't get tested for drugs. Mayors, nor Congressmen, nor the President of the United States have to submit to Urine Samples. So who the hell are we to test these athletes we pay to beat the hell out of their bodies for our entertainment, so we can be distracted from the massively insane stupidity we are constantly surrounded by in this so called "civilization"? Is it me folks, or are we living in crazy land?

We are in a criminal war in Iraq right now, killing innocent people, making the world a more dangerous place every day with our selfish Greedhead ways. Our president is violently, and with destructive precision, sucking oil out of every crevice he can find in the wild nature of our earth like a Jonesing fiend. We are preparing to put nuclear weapons in space, and giant warheads which can strike any target on earth in a matter of two hours or less. Bye bye. American Airlines planes are about to be retrofitted with weapons systems (I swear to God I heard this one today on NPR).

So where do we get off telling anyone what they can and can't put in their bodies? I myself am pretty cautious about what I put in my body. I try to keep it to the sacred herb and the sacred spirit, and the occasional benzodiazapine doesn't hurt, but come on People. Get real. We are a criminal Nation, The People are the last ones who should be getting punished right now for anything less than murder, rape, robbery, and assault, because those are the crimes our government is guilty of. It's the people in power who should be on the stand.

There is a reason they try to keep us afraid.

Iowa

Alright. Obama won in Iowa. Thank god for those of us who don't want to see another corprepublicanreligiouscat as our next president. But Huckabee also won, which means that the Big Dumb God is still talking loudly. The newer, even dumber, Mormon God had not caught up, thanks be to Allah.

So we have Barack Obama, whose last name rhymes with Osama, as our hope. This might sound crazy, but this inexperienced black man, who has yet to prove his jive talking capabilities, is our best hope. Hillary Clinton would lose to a republican Mickey Mouse, and it would be a loss that wouldn't concern me too much, because that woman scares me about as much as anyone else.

And so we have Obama. This guy, as far as I can tell, is the least dangerous of all the characters on the miserable plate we are looking at. He actually gives me some hope.

Slightly optimistic in 2008,

the Goose

In the World of Stupid

Pakistan is about to blow up, Aspen gets more fur coats every day this time of year, and Lindsey Lohan, it turns out, fell off the wagon. Who cares? Lindsey is probably better off drinking, in so many cases, a drunk drinker is far better than a sober one. Just look at our Commander in Chief if you want evidence. The paparazzi is out of control, this idea of individual freedom is out of control. People have never been so spoiled nor miserable in all of history. I bet the suicide rate during the black plague paled in comparison to the one in America today.

Lindsey should drink, she's young, immature, blond, and famous, drugs and alcohol will likely make her miserable life, of fame, stupid wealth, selfishness, and self-entitlement, a bit shorter. As it should be. Our president, and most of the other world leaders, should go back to partying and leave the leadership of the world to intellectuals and people who know how to use their brains for more than just idiotic power-mongering which puts the ownership of the world in the hands of an elite class of fantastically unenlightened people who seem to care for nothing more than getting richer, even at the expense of the future of the human race.

Feeling optimistic.

The Goose.