shoes from 2001 collection

There's nothing wrong with wearing shoes
your feet still touch the ground
the light of the earth still fills the soul
when Kwanza and Christmas are left behind
and Groundhog day on the beach
the new year starts with a new moon
when the light is waning away
you can leave your shoes on
because the light will really stay
the stars and the moon make no sound
sound has wasted away
and you can leave your shoes on
when the ground is gone
some moon will still remain
when the earth,
its ocean,
land and life
are dust
and the crashing waves and thunder storms
no longer make a sound
when the only sound is a cosmic wind
you won't be wearing shoes

Acirema

My first reaction to reading about the Israeli Defense Forces recent killing of two unarmed Palestinian militants in a raid was judgmental anger. Then I stopped myself for a moment and considered the new fad in American military policy, namely, using unmanned drones to blow up houses full of human beings because they are “plotting” against us. That’s right, think twice before you huddle with your buddies in a hut to talk dirty about the great Satan because the great Satan may well be listening and circling above you in an unmanned drone. This policy is executed here in America within the public sphere and seems to go off without a hitch of moral dilemma. They are terrorists we say, high level terrorists, and sure, sometimes their wives or children are home, but that’s just collateral damage, justified in the name of protecting the American people. One of the most remarkable things about this whole unmanned murder of human beings from the sky thing is the lack of public outcry amongst us. This is a policy that Barack Obama has been accelerating, and we seem to just swallow it as if it is another necessary evil in a broader war to protect the American “way.” But the more we participate in such behavior the less justified we are claiming that we have any legitimate “way” to protect. It’s time to turn the gun, the pen, and the camera back in on ourselves because we are expanding our role as global bad guy with each passing day. I’m glad we are making some progress in moving toward health care for all our citizens here in the USA, but the policies of our country are making each of our lives less valuable. We all have blood on our hands. Safely encapsulated in this FOX News bubble, it’s easy to forget to turn the critical eye on our own behavior, but a quick look at our actions as a country over the last few years will reveal the terrifying fact that we have only further justified the bulls eye they have on us. Since the attacks on September 11th, 2001, when the sympathy of almost the whole world was with us, any higher ground we might have had has been eroded by our own economic and military hubris. It is easy to criticize the policies and actions of a distant nation, like Israel or Uganda, or even Venezuela, because from a distance their actions are on the face of them wrong, yet when those actions are reported from those countries, they are often reported in a matter of fact way which indicates that from within them the actions seem justified. So we have to ask ourselves, how do so many of our actions, matter of fact as they may be from within, appear to the nations of the rest of the world? What does America represent to the rest of the world? It is a bit easier to see how we generally view ourselves as a country. Americans are trained in the meaning of America. We are the city on the hill, the global policeman, protecting the principles of freedom and democracy, equality and justice. As individuals it is hard to know what perception others really have of us, because we are so blinded by our own perception of ourselves. This is also true of nations. We get caught up in our own identity and it becomes difficult to even tell the true from the false. How might the rest of the world perceive the American Nation, and how might that differ from our American National Identity? These are scary questions to ask. We are sold this line about being justified in committing acts that from the outside could easily be discerned as war crimes. When the next attack comes against us on American soil, there will not be more sympathy and shock from around the world, there will be less, because our response to the terrorist attacks of 9/11 have made us worthy of more attacks, not less. Instead of becoming a more peaceful, just, righteous nation, we have become more economically criminal, more terrorist militarily, and less aware intellectually. We have painted a bigger target on ourselves in the international consciousness by living, as a matter of fact, contrary to the ideals of our national identity. Our government policies have, therefore, put us, the American people, at more risk of terror attacks, and have stolen more of our innocence. We have engaged in war, we have done it knowingly, as it has been advertised all over our media, and we have bought it, hook, line, and sinker. So when the war returns to our soil, we should react rationally, not shaking our heads in wonder and asking why, but holding our leadership accountable and not letting them engage in more war in response to war that we have for nine years now been engaged in. If we want to make any progress in ending the violence, ending this cycle of wrongs done to remedy wrongs, eyes for eyes making us all blind, we need to turn away from what they have done to us, and start addressing our own policies and actions as a nation and as a people.

Don't give up.

"There is a legend of a hermit who had such a great desire to find the true path that he climbed a mountain of swords and threw himself into fire, enduring them because of his hope. He who is willing to risk the perils of the path will find a cool breeze blowing on the sword-bristling mountains of selfishness and among the fires of hatred and, in the end, will come to realize that the selfishness and worldly passions against which he has struggled and suffered are Enlightenment itself." The Teaching of Buddha, pg. 124.

The Belly Button of the Universe of Man

Yet more evidence that our ancestors evolved in the holy land. Yep, go back far enough and it becomes maddeningly apparent that we are all one family. Call us all Jews if you want. The northern part of the Great Rift Valley (oh, right around the north of present day Israel) is the birthplace of anthropos. Race, religion, culture, language, and all the other walls built up between us are but illusions. Hold on to them at your peril people.

"Lifestyle of our Holy Land ancestors makes scientists think again
By Yuval Azoulay


Scholars and scientists long believed that people started eating fish "only" 40,000 years ago, but new archaeological findings have revealed that hundreds of thousands of years before that, human ancestors were catching and consuming fish in the Hula Valley, which is known even today for its fish ponds - albeit artificial ones.

Giant fish inhabited Lake Hula 750,000 years ago, and the hominids who lived there - believed to be the first species ever to create fire intentionally - grilled and ate them, Hebrew University researchers have concluded. The evidence was found at archaeological digs near the Bnot Yaakov Bridge over the Jordan River.

Laboratory studies in Israel and abroad have confirmed that the hominids caught catfish, tilapia and carp that were more than a meter long.
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The team of archeologists was led by Hebrew U. Prof. Naama Goren-Inbar and assisted by Prof. Mordechai Kislev of the Bar-Ilan University life sciences department.

The findings were published this weekend in the journal "Science."

They found many tools to light fires and more, including basalt tools for cutting meat and cracking nuts. This led to the conclusion that nearly 1 million years ago, the ancestors of humans were living in communities comparable to modern societies - half a million years earlier than archaeologists had thought until now.

The findings were well preserved for 750,000 years, says Goren-Inbar, because the damp conditions prevented the formation of bacteria. The community inhabited a site about three kilometers square.

"We found many fish skulls, teeth, fins and bones, as well as crab claws, and not far away the remains of fires," she says. "With the stone tools and the other findings, we understand that the community was fully aware of the space they inhabited. They were familiar with the plants and animals, they knew the properties of the stone, and they were capable of planning long-term moves. Ancient man was far more advanced than we had thought," Goren-Inbar told Haaretz.

The researchers concluded that the inhabitants of the site roasted their nuts before cracking them open and eating them. The nutcrackers consisted of two stones, one with a hollow to hold the nuts and another to crack the shell.

No hominid remains were found, however. Researchers are not sure what they looked like, but some believe they were of the species homo erectus, which lived in Africa 1.8 million years ago and migrated outward.

"The homo erectus looked a lot like we do today, except his legs were shorter, his arms were longer like an ape's, his brow was heavy, and his brain volume was 900 cubic centimeters. Human brains are on average 1,400 cubic centimeters," says Dr. Gonen Sharon of the Hebrew University, who was involved in the research.

Despite the findings, the scientists still have no idea where the Hula community lived, since the site has no caves or other natural shelters."

From http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1136757.html

One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for End of the World Machine (Tree of Knowledge anyone?)

Is it me, or did they take the design of this bugger straight out of Star Wars, giving it that Darth Vader Death Star touch and adding a little color to make it seem refreshing?

These little fools are just so exited. The faster they blast their particles into each other, the more exited they get, all in the name of finding this tiny little thing called the Higgs Boson; but of course, if they do find the Higgs Boson, and it proves the elements of string theory that they are seeking to complete their latest little web of scientific BS, they will discover (as happened with the discovery of the atom) that they'll need to keep searching for the next thing, they'll find that even within the Higgs Boson is more empty space, and on and on into infinity because impermanent man can never discover the true nature of infinity, hence that old adage about never looking directly at God because it will consume you and burn you up. We are well on our way.
This is certainly one of the most significant wastes of time and money in the history of the universe.
"CERN announced early Monday that the Large Hadron Collider has become the world’s highest-energy particle accelerator. The LHC pushed protons to 1.18 TeV (trillion electron volts), surpassing the previous record of 0.98 TeV held by Fermilab’s Tevatron...
Now, 10 days after it turned on again, scientists are celebrating with their fingers crossed that the machine is safely on its way to the physics experiments they plan to begin next year when the LHC has reached its target energy of 7 TeV." (http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/11/lhc-sets-new-world-record/)
click title for an interview with one of the know-it-alls who supports this terribly dangerous crap. How these people can say that what they are doing is not utterly threatening to life on earth, I can't understand. We have "scientists" and inventors to thank for nuclear weapons, guns, every other type of bomb, genetically modified foods, increasing incidence of cancer and on and on and on. They always say "don't worry, we're just trying to help, check out this cool thing we invented... watch this." Kaboom.

Reminds me of the passage that Robert Oppenheimer is reported to have recited after the Trinity Atomic bomb test in the Jornada del Muerto (Journey of Death) desert:

If the radiance of a thousand suns
Were to burst at once into the sky,
That would be like the splendor of the Mighty One...
I am become Death,
The shatterer of Worlds.

The Bhagavad-Gita

I'll say it again, our race would be wise to get dumb before the boxes we are opening swallow existence all together.

Remarkable picture from this years Eid al-Adha Festival in Saudi Arabia

Letter to my Dear Friend Glenn

Dear Glenn Beck,

You seem so afraid. You seem so intent on making us all so afraid. Why are you so afraid Glenn? What is this information you have which you are striking fear into our hearts with? The national debt you say. The end of the American dream you say. Everything is changing, we are heading for trouble and we need to build an arc you say. We can’t afford to give everyone health care you say. The national debt is skyrocketing and our grandchildren are going to suffer you say. Well Glenn, I can’t disagree with you that our country is in trouble, but my god man, go to a meeting like the recovering alcoholic you always say you are. Take a few deep breaths and let me tell you, it’s going to be OK.

Glenn, we’re all going to die, arc or not. That’s life. It always ends in death, and if the twelve steps you say you’ve worked have taught you anything, I hope they’ve taught you that all we have is today. That means you shouldn’t worry too much about judgment day. If your left foot is in yesterday, and your right foot is in tomorrow, then you are pissing on today. Isn’t that what they say, Glenn? Will you please quit pissing on today, Glenn. There is no giant conspiracy Glenn. If there is, then you’re just as much a part of it as the rest of us. That brings me to Christ, latter day or not. Glenn, do you really think that Jesus Christ would be against universal health care for all? You call yourself a Christian, Glenn. You claim to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Your estimated earnings for the last 12 months is over 20 million dollars, big G. What was it that Captain Jesus said about the rich? Hmm… let me think, I know you took one theology class at Yale before you dropped out. Something to this effect, my good man: it’s easier to thread a camel through the eye of a needle, than for a greedy little piggy to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Hopefully you aren’t worried too much about that though, because acting good today because you are afraid of what might happen when Jesus flies in on a golden winged chariot to flood the land you are building an arc to protect yourself from tomorrow is just going to piss off Captain J all the more. That would simply indicate that you aren’t really living for today. The fires of hell may await you Glenn, no matter how big an arc you build for yourself. But I wouldn’t worry too much about it. If you want the reward Mr. Glenn, you have to be good because you have found goodness in your heart. But when I listen to your fear, to your anger, to your vitriolic paranoia and self-aggrandizement, me thinks you are one of the hypocrites that Jesus so frequently rallied against, Glenn. But here I go starting to sound like you. Let me take a moment to remind myself it’s OK. Three deep breaths, and we’re all going to die. Breath in. Breath out.

Glenn, we can work this out. You are worried that we owe over 300,000 dollars per capita because of this tremendous national debt. You are telling us dedicated viewers of your show that our children are going to inherit this debt, and that we cannot afford to give everyone health care on top of it all. Well, it just so happens that your income over the last 12 months should cover the debt load of about 66 people to begin with. If the government were to simply tax 80% off the top of the income of some of the little piggies who make more than a million dollars a year, we could recoup our government expenses lickety split. I mean, you are always talking about how much you care about America. Thank goodness this great country of ours has so many little piggy banks like yours. Let’s just say we take only 80% of your 2 million dollar yearly salary at FOX News, this wonderful station that does so much to help save the planet from getting saved; that would still leave you 400,000 dollars to live on. You might have to start flying first class instead of taking a private jet, maybe sell a yacht, but I know you care about the people, and I have no doubt that it is a sacrifice you would gladly be willing to make, because you are a true patriot, aren’t you Glenn? You are a good Samaritan, aren’t you Glenn? You have love in your heart, and you care. I believe that to be true. Sometimes the love in our hearts is just hidden from us.

Personal responsibility is dead, get responsible, accept responsibility you say. We’re neighbors you say. When the people lead the leaders will follow you say (quoting a bumper sticker you just saw). You say that if the government will get out of our business we’ll all start taking care of each other. Well that hasn’t really happened, Glenn. In fact, the rich are getting richer, just like you, while the national debt, which you constantly rant about, rises. As you have often pointed out, the job market is barely recovering, while the stock market has rebounded. The people don’t have jobs but we are still trying to get them to go shopping. What do you think that the commercials between your rants are trying to get us to do? According to the numbers from Black Heart Friday, they seem to be working. I can’t remember the last time I saw a commercial for a soup kitchen for the homeless.

There is something wrong with this idea that multi-millionaires need to keep getting richer, Glenn, and not give more back for the greater good. Warren Buffet said it best when he pointed out that his secretary pays more taxes than he does. That’s right Glenn, you can just give your taxes to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to get your name put on some temple wall or on a Bringham Young University building and write it off, while the national debt keeps on rising. No, you are a good Samaritan, and you wouldn’t think of doing that, would you Glenn? No, you will fight for universal health care, not for Insurance companies, won’t you Glenn? You will fight for equal wages for number of hours worked by workers, rather than fighting for the rights of the bulging pocket books of the rich and famous, right Glenn? You care. Don’t you? May God bless you Glenn, and bring you peace in your heart.

Best Wishes,


The Goose Wrangler

Woman sees Jesus in her Iron.

Looks more like the Mona Lisa to me. But hey, what do I know?

nothing better to do.

Does it have to be the human race? I mean does it have to be a race? Couldn't it just be like an experience? Does it seem like we are rushing to the end? Like in a race? 2012 movie and all, I mean we really seem like we are rushing to get this race over with. I mean, like a race, maybe it did really start with a bang. But can't we just be here now, no end in site, and nobody rushing to get there? All just passing through? Like we could just have a human meandering rather than a human race.

well this needs editing, but i'm just going to publish the whole puppy here for the moment... there may be something here...

If everything is god then even business is also god at work, even capitalism must somehow be god at work.

The pains of life are necessary

To teach people badly is to teach people that they are criminals and that they need to suppress their nature in order to be good people, when the opposite is actually true. They need to discover their true nature, because at the bottom of themselves they will find love, not violence. Love is stronger than violence. The loving expression of violence is non-violence. Before violence existed there was no violence. There was a void. The genesis of violence was the ripping apart of the void, when it was separated from itself, and what was emptiness became existence and non-existence.

It sure is difficult to write a book in the days of facebook when you can just say everything live. I’m not all that motivated to make money, despite the influence of my vigorous American Capitalist upbringing and education. Somehow I just want to communicate. I’ve never really thought of myself as a loner. I’m very much a people person. But in New York City you have to work to get people to even look at you, let alone smile or actually say hello. It’s like everyone is just in their own little bubble ignoring everyone else around them, acting as if they are the only people in the world, attached by their faces to their phones and walking around as if they are reading a map as they go. They don’t even see their surroundings, just a screen between their fingers. This may seem a bit anti-social at the moment, but these people are just connecting in a new and different way, and while one thing is hidden from them, another is revealed.

What is this internet? What are we discovering in this digital universe, which is able to distract us from our immediate neighbors and our surroundings? Is it something we found lacking in them? Whatever it is, it must be significant because NOW is the moment we have never experienced before. Of course this has always been true. It always will be.

This connectivity is a silent revolution. The people are in touch as they have never been before. We may still feel powerless as members of this society, of this police state, but the power itself must take heed, because the common man now has access to universal connectivity. The common man is the police. The common man is the military. The common man is Al Qaeda. The common man is Iran. The common man is Pakistan. The common man IS America, even when he is oppressed by it. I AM is the common man, and the force of the universe is in him.

We are in a new age. This is the age of interconnectivity. This is the age where man discovers that he is everyone else. We are all eyes attached to a screen. Whether we are holding a digital screen in our hands, or are looking at the living reality surrounding us. Have we tapped into an alternative universe? Is it possible to separate the universe of screens and letters of virtual communication from the molecules of living matter themselves?

The internet is like having a connection into the heads of everyone else who is connected to this virtual world. TV is not a dissimilar phenomenon, but television is more about receptivity, about taking in, and it is not interactive the way the digital world of connected computers is. There are human eyes staring into the net, building the computer, inventing the reality. What are we staring into? Who are we talking to? Have we only found ourselves as we stare into the screen before us? Who invented the screen and who gives it meaning? Who is the perceiver of creation? Aren’t we seeing with the eyes of creation?

So are we talking to ourselves? When we talk to each other, who are we really talking to? If we are connected to everything around us, then are we talking to parts of One? Isn’t that what our science has taught us? Isn’t that what our spiritualities are trying to tell us?

One thing that’s sure is that I’m a rambler.

In the beginning was the void, but the void was whole. Was the void encapsulated in the smallest molecule of existence? Inside this molecule was every potentiality in the universe. The void was God. Before it became everything, god was nothing. Then suddenly our science tells us we had a big bang. This is when the void split in two. Like how splitting the atom makes a big bang. Yea. Like that. That’s what that science project was about. OK, so that’s about as close to the discovery of creation as we can get without total desctruction. This makes the Large Hadron Collider unnecessary, and possibly life threatening. {Let’s not open another Pandora’s box here people. Existence is not something to pass up and we don’t want to get swallowed by a black hole of our own creation.}

So with the separation of One into light and dark, positive and negative, male and female, there was suddenly everything, existence itself, and it was expanding. All we knew is that we were here, looking out at existence. I never could understand why we have been trying to shoot ourselves into space with rockets. I guess maybe it’s because somebody really wants to look at existence objectively, and it can’t be done from in here, in this atmospheric bubble.

The problem with this scientists’ little project is that there is no out there out there. He’ll still be looking out there from in here. You can’t be alive and truly get out of in here. Enlightenment is still here. No matter how high you go you are still here. In fact the highest you can get is right now. That’s what existence is. It’s in here. Non-existence is out there. That’s heaven. That’s empty space. That is nothing. Enlightenment is the experience of being fully connected to everything. But only in non-existence is everything whole again. There is no existence in infinity. It just is ever after.

Existence is the experience of being temporary. All things that are alive exist because they will cease to exist. Existence doesn’t exist without non-existence. Nothing is the void.

In the beginning was the void, and to the Void we shall return. Behind the computer is just more void. Behind our selves is the void. In this void we are angels. In here is love. Out there is love. Everything else is just the illusion of separation.

So I went to do yoga tonight, but toward the end of class I was losing the present moment, I had thoughts interrupting that nice white light, but what's funny is what was disturbing me. I've lost my copy of The Teaching of Buddha which I've had since I "acquired" it from a bedside table in Tokyo almost 11 years ago. I was in savasana wondering where it was. I think it may be sitting in a motel bathroom in NC. Damn impermanence. I had all my favorite pages marked. oh well, does matter moving from here to there really matter?

Now, I'm not saying i'm pious or anything. Now i'm sitting here drinking a glass of nice cheap Spanish wine, taking my evening one b.r. at a time.
As always, I'm wondering what's going on. Latin music is playing on the radio, and the whole universe is breathing in on itself.

24 hours later I'm sitting here having another glass of wine, procrastinating departure to live reggae music. This young man will soon be on the move. Am I crazy? I don't think so, but things are becoming hauntingly magical. They always have been. But suddenly things are starting to look as tripped as trip without the trip. The tangled lines are untangled and all the lines suddenly lead up the same mountain. What is truth but another illusion? The truth itself is infinite, incomprehensible, it is before time, the Alpha and the Omega, and we are only little wriggling lines on the pages of time in the midst of timelessness.

Aloha

See you at the show?

Spicy Rage-click here for more...

We're all God

The irreverent craw
Soft bagging the lime
Eating itself
As the biscuits and antelope
Mate on the prairie
In violent ecstasy
Alternately raping each other
innocently

Shrimp people!
Squealing with glee
Living in fear,
guilt and sin

A celebration
A religion
Yippee!

Fighting for Your Right to Die

Does it seem odd that American citizens are protesting in the streets, not demanding universal health care, but rather demanding not to have it? Why are we the most powerful nation, with the biggest economy on the planet, yet the only developed democracy which does not provide health care to all its citizens? Well, it seems to me, what with how much sense Glenn Beck makes, that it’s just not how our little model works.

The fear of death is almost primordial. No sooner do we discover our mortality than do we begin to fear it. Some degree of fear in the population is essential for productivity. It is essential for creating order. Hence, Hans Morgenthau’s rule, about the necessity of having a monopoly on all means of violence in creating a nation.

We can’t beat workers like we used to, but if the threat of being uninsured is constantly held over the head of every individual, the dog eat dog, never ending quest for wealth (our ideal mindset for US citizenry), is reinforced, because, in our society, the closest thing to a fountain of youth is an unlimited bank account. Just ask Steve Jobs and his brand new liver.

Our version of cutthroat, free-market capitalism may very well fall apart if the proletariat is no longer in such literal fear for their lives. Is that what the conservatives are worried about? Is it less about profits for insurance companies and an out of control national debt, and more about the worry that cutthroat consumerism might be threatened if the sheep are a little less afraid for their lives?

If you are trying to create a selfish, money hungry, rat racing, capitalist, consumer, there is no better way than to start by making his health care dependant on his success in the rat race. Is it not logical that an employee will be more accommodating and easier to manipulate and control if his health care is dependant on his job? Won’t the uber-rich be more willing to keep outrageously accumulating wealth and clawing for a higher position on the masters of the universe list, like Oprah Winfrey, if the possibility of more surgical procedures is dependant on more money and if you know the government won’t pay for you to be frozen, cast in pure gold, and shot into outer space to live forever with Walt Disney and L. Ron Hubbard?

Many American politicians argue that providing universal health care is an ethical issue. Well that may be. But in the USA, the very foundation of our capitalism, a primary quest for wealth, and an obsession with getting higher on the social ladder, is ethically questionable.

If the whole cultural ideal rests on having more than the next guy, and individuals are entitled to accumulate billions of dollars while the next guy has to go into debt just to go to college, it’s not surprising that we don’t provide health care to everyone. Why would we? It might undermine our very way of life: our selfish individual pursuits of more stuff to distract ourselves from our impending demise and our powerlessness to stop it; even with all the plastic surgery, tubes, needles, and breathing machines. We all have to die.

I hope that doesn’t seem morose. Yet here we are, in a dilemma. Our present condition leaves questions unanswered. As rich as we are, it turns out our formula has left us a couple trillion dollars in debt, uninsured or not. The FDIC is looking to the banks it insures because it needs to borrow money. Yep, you read that correctly. If the banks don’t lend the money, the FDIC will be going to the US Treasury for cash, yet the US Treasury is just a touch beholden to China at the moment. It seems our quest for more has left us at a few trillion less than zero.

I go to Glenn Beck for the best information out there; and one thing is sure, Beck is protecting the American way. None of this sissy, lets try to take care of all our citizens, stuff. No. The greed must stand. So if we are not going to tax 100% of all wealth above 100 million dollars for those individuals who are worth that much, in order to build a green infrastructure, provide health insurance to all citizens, and pay off the national debt, then what should we do?

I suggest a purchase quota. This would be something akin to what Christopher Columbus cleverly devised when he was governor of Hispaniola in the early 1500’s. Convinced there were vast amounts of gold beneath the island, he required that each native deliver a certain amount of gold, or off with a hand. Well it turned out that there wasn’t much gold, so a lot of hands got chopped. Hands are important in sustaining a population, and sure enough, it wasn’t long before the native population of Hispaniola was nearly extinct. What lesson does this provide us in discussing health care? Dead folk don’t require health care.

One plus one equals Glenn Beck. So to avoid the terrible burden of keeping an aging population of hard partying baby boomers alive and Viagra’d on the government dime, we could impose consumption minimums. This is the way to keep the American way alive. If you are too old to be a good consumer, the plug gets pulled. Pay to play baby. It’s the American way. Spend to live. Simple. Thank god those folks are protesting in the streets. “Don’t give us health care!” “Let us die if we can’t afford health insurance!” “Stop trying to take away our rights!” Keep standing up people. Don’t give in. Don’t let the government provide you health care. Private corporations are the ones who really care about you. If you aren’t working and spending, and you don’t have enough accumulated wealth to pay to stay alive, then you can just keep fighting for your right to die.

Well

What's so interesting about the Bible is how God wrote all this stuff down for Himself to read so He would remember to not be such an Asshole in his human incarnations. Too bad God doesn't even speak his own language anymore down here on earth. God is so confused down here because He's busy being 7 billion different people at the same time. He keeps teaching Himself all this funny business making Himself feel guilty for being who He is [a fallen angel]. So he yells at himself and says "Stop Killing Each Other!" He is God. He is Christ. He is Anti-Christ. He is Buddha. He is Mohamed. He is Hitler. It's the same Dumbass, experiencing existence, again, and again, and again, just like He sent Himself down here to do. Sent down to Be His Own Servant. Incarnate. It's just hard for Him to remember. He also forgets He's Her.

stealing from facebook

Eating Chinese food delivery in Aspen and pretending I'm hiding in New York and writing. I have to admit, this is better Chinese delivery than any I had in New York, except the delivery I had to my apt. on my first night there. I had no silverware, and they included no chopsticks or plastic fork or knife. I used two sanitized pens as chopsticks. That was the best.

Ecology and Religion joining forces... or all the forces are already joined!

click title to check out this interesting article Prof. Stewart and the Carnegie Council so kindly shared with us. Is it Ecoligion? Religecology? Who split the first atom? I don't think it was Adam. Maybe when the first Atom split it made a big bang, and suddenly there was light and dark, male and female... and we've been colliding or just call it banging ever since. bunch of separate pieces of One trying to come together. God bless us, every One.

Relax

Relax. It's Aspen. Hah. Relax. It's planet Earth. And the sun keeps on shining. Amy Goodman said recently that if we don't do something about global warming soon it will become irreversible. Yea, thanks hun. I'll give you a big capital Duh on that one. Until the next ice age. Mother Earth is in control baby. Sure we can do better. But dammit, stop fucking scaring people so much. Relaxing is important.

a new day again

hey ya'll. I'm listening to Warren Zevon's "I've got to roll with the punches." It's late at night and i'm not quite channeling Hunter S. Thompson. I'm sending out Hunter's best vibes. His happiest dreams for a better future, the future he dreamed of and the future his limited perspective thought was trampled on by the reelection of George W. Bush. I was pretty bummed myself when we gave GW his mandate after 4 years of idiocy. I was sober at the time, and I think it drove me to drink, and I hadn't had nearly the come down that Hunter experienced.

We may have lost Hunter as a result of George W. Bush. But maybe his suicide saved some of our lives. Do we want to go that high, and stay that high, when we know the rules? Hunter taught us the result, what goes up, must come down. If you keep going up and up and up, you must eventually come down. If you go too far up, the landing will be too much to bear. As the caption on an old plastic plate of mine with Winnie the Poo falling into the arms of his friends, catching him in the midst of his fall, says: "and the coming down is the hardest part." Ain't that the truth?

For those of us who see reality as it is and choose to live in it consciously, the only logical reaction is insanity. The logical reaction to insanity is insanity. Those of us that are normal "functioning members of society" are the ones who are really insane. The bums and the patients in the insane asylum are the one's who are sane. The poverty that we are at "war against" is our salvation. We are at war with ourselves. With our true nature. We are trying not to die, when dead is what we all already are. Death is the rebirth of life. Life feeds on death. Decay and resurrection. But if those of us who are awake to this beautiful reality don't come down periodically and remember our impermanence, we are doomed to jails, sanitariums, and death, as the AA lingo tells us. Those of us who are attracted to the spirits, indeed we who become addicted to them, when we have tapped into the infinite "God" consciousness of which we are all a part, if it is not grounded in the foundation that we are all One, when we are still attached to an "I" which is separate from you, the I which can kill, which is God and Satan incarnate, which is the infinite potentiality who has defeated all the other species on earth in single handed combat and also killed our brother and sister humans as a result of the illusion that we are separate, you will start screaming you're fucking head off, because people aren't living up to the God consciousness of which we are all a part, and that you have realized, and you will think you're god, and you are, but if we are still a part of the illusion, attached to the "I" which is separate from "you," if we don't come down periodically we will go "nuts."

But the key is to remember that everything is OK. That we are all connected, and that because of what is, so It must be. How could it be any different? How could we change this moment where i'm writing this foolishness at 3:45 in the morning Colorado time, which has nothing to do with real time, because the sun never actually sets, and the full bright moon tonight is just the Sun's reflection. And if I die from taking too much of the white illusion tonight, it was only because of my own foolishness. Let us thank the Lord for his Mercy. Give thanks to the moon and stars that rule by night for his mercy which rules for I. But that's the reggae music that helps me be grateful for this life that I am so lucky to be living.

Every life that I live is a miracle. We are the eyes of God looking out at the this chaos of perfect order. We are all part of the Great IS. I've been searching for a Bible. Been meaning to buy one for awhile, but today looking through my Grandmother's incredible library, on the top shelf I found a whole collection of Bible's. I was attracted to the one that was covered in Silver first. I pulled it out. It is that old, sacred, wretched book, full of God and Satan and the illusion of Sin and the fear of Death, and it is engraved with my grandparents names. It was their bible, from 1965, with love notes and commitments to their marriage. But that marriage came to an end. Which is sad. But they are OK. My granddaddy is out in the midst of the universe now. His molecules are in existence. He has lived, will ever live, and is invisible to us now, just as our true natures are mostly hidden from us in our daily lives. This is to keep us sane. It's all good. That's the key message.

I hope Michael Franti and Spearhead keep pumping some positivity. We are all the same out here. We are all connected. I'm so grateful to be alive. The thing I kept opening in the Bible was Matthew 4, 4, when Jesus is being tempted by "Satan," which is simply the fear of death and decay, but... "Then Satan took him to Jerusalem to the roof of the Temple. "Jump off," he said, "and prove you are the Son of God; for the scriptures declare 'God will send his angels to keep you from harm.... they will prevent you from smashing on the rocks below.' Jesus retorted "It also says not to put the Lord your God to a foolish test." And here I was opening to this page after Satan flew up my nose, testing the Lord, and thank God I am alive to tell the tale. Twice I opened to the same page today, in two different bibles.

Rasta man vibration yea. higher man vibration yea. Thanks Bob Marley, who also died. Are we all the same person seeing reality through our own limited perspectives? But Bob says, make way for a positive day... oh what a new day. Are you picking up now? Who is I am? Who is I am that I am? Who is everything and nothing? Who is God and the devil incarnate? Who is the creator and the destroyer?

We are all on the same boat here, folks. Form is emptiness and emptiness is form. Love is Emptiness and Emptiness is Love. Love is God and God is Love. God is emptiness and God is form. May our form and our emptiness be blessed. If we want to save the world, all we need to do is let go and realize that the world is already saved. Aloha, crew.

a haiku for the first of September

Bunny bunny Sun
The hawk cried to the eagle
This is the jungle

back in aspen

"Aspen is a place where absentee greed-heads are taking over the town like a pack of wild dogs, reducing the once proud local population to shame and degradation." HST

Well it's true old dogs, but I'm just not so sure how true anymore. The sludge is still thick and the vultures circle and the land rapers claw along doing ballet with Marilyn Marks. Now I've traveled a great deal in my little dream land existence, but I've never been to a town with nicer cops, mellower speed limits, quality pharmacies, smart, cool, intelligent workers who work their ass off to live in paradise and enjoy a life that many of the ridiculous third fourth and fifth home owners don't have a clue about. The elite of Aspen are not really the elite anyway. The Sushi Chefs of Aspen are the real celebrities, and I'd rather invite them home for drinks than somebody famous, unless of course that famous person showed up with some energy drinks which would make me an invincible Tour De France racer. No, it's pretty damn cool to be back in Aspen. I'm a tourist in my home town, and I really can't imagine going back to NYC where I moved this past spring. It's nice as far as monkey jungles go, but its not here. Aspen is a vortex of lunacy, magic, and the holiness of perfect manifestations of natural beauty. This valley, these surrounding forests and mountain ranges, these are the art of God. It's paradise, and damn it, people know it. Cream makes you fat, and if cream means money, then it's clear that the cream has risen to the top. We're way up at the top here in Aspen. We are Fat City, yet rich enough to stay thin. And the cream is creamy, especially on powder days. And the lunacy keeps out the riff raff, they only stand us a few months a year at most, and that's grand. Only true loons can stand the year round madness. I myself retreated to the city, I had lost my bearings. Aspen is Aspen is Aspen. It's not Ute City anymore. It's frequency is a slidge insane in a dirty little way, but it can be fun. The greed and selfish individualism is not making it the nice friendly little family environment we really want it to be though. Ute City is still here, only the name changed. We are still a tribe. We all look out for each other here. And everybody should be invited to the party. We need to get the old popcorn wagon back. We must not tolerate the abuses of drug enforcement. And yet I feel like i'm coming back to an even better town than I left. The vibe is good. The grass is green and clearly the rain has come. We have a bar named Mustang now and they have glorious outside seating on the mall and a band was playing there. I looked around and it almost felt like we were back in the 80's when everyone was just a little happier to be alive because the threat of nuclear holocaust from all out war with the soviet union kept people humble, thankful, and folks were just happy to be alive and celebrate Ferris Bueller's day off. Everybody is in a good mood. It's all good. Get your ski pass. That whole skiing in Aspen thing, it's pretty good. If we want to get on Ski Co's ass about something we should address their lovely connection to the Military Industrial Complex. In addition to helping us slide down mountains the ownership also manufactures weapons of mass destruction. I heard that our own country might have some stashed away. But in Aspen things are pretty damn good. Even the exploited of Aspen, the workers who live far down valley and commute up here to work often enduring hours of traffic. Even some of these folks I have heard, are making top dollar in the thriving drug trade. So I just have to shout out to the Ski co and say, I understand. It is what it is. People have to ski and people have to die. I'd rather be on one of your chairlifts than on the receiving end of one of your missiles. I don't even live here anymore, and i'm a privileged rat. I guess I'm just floating and Fat City is my life raft. New York is a quiet life in comparison, with plenty of large buildings, beautiful, fantastic, rainbow people marching in lemming perfection and smiles. But it's an island. Manhattan island doesn't have one beach. There are gates all around it. It's a concentration camp for people and a small number of concrete adapted animals. You can't barely even find a place to swim, and the dogs aren't even allowed in the fountains. To get out you have to go over a bridge or under water in a tunnel, it's lovable madness. But in Aspen, tourists like me, year round locals, folks who just come a few months a year and spend a whole lotta cash and don't barely ski because they are getting a massage, it's all good. They are not in the lift line in front of me. We're all friends here. We're a family. People from all over moved here and we are like a nice little dysfunctional drug addicted year round camp, some come and go, but nothing really changes even while everything changes. And then of course when we take a break we all meet in AA, where our sober friends are waiting for us and self-riotously 13th stepping each other. It's paradise. Aspen Anonymous. It sure can be a small town sometimes. But ain't it grand? Sure is nice to be back for a visit. We're just here to enjoy living in paradise. It's really OK. Sometimes we complain too much. But what the hell else is there to do in paradise? We aren't writing letters about the gang warfare, it's just ticket prices. Benny the Blade, working it, he'll have a season pass I guarantee. Johny Aspen, on the cruise and living the dream, he'll be on the slopes with a pass around his neck. We're a ridiculous lavish shi shi rip off town, but sometimes I wonder if that's not our saving grace. Even when this was Ute City we were rolling in Silver and had a number of whore houses to boot, but none as expensive as the Caribou Club. But why do I love all the people here so much? I can't help it. Aspen is my family. We are all on the same boat baby, no matter what our bank accounts say. I've had many a wealthy individual buy me marvelous afternoon extravaganzas at The Little Nell, and that's nice. I'm a Fat City baby. Somehow things do trickle down here. It's a pretty darned good life in this little bastion of nice. The ridiculously rich are often quite charming. And they rarely ski the best lines. It all works out and the ridiculousness is inevitable. So Aspen is a big family and they were new members and they were loaded but they lived here year round and were active members of the community, not just temporary vacationers who fly in their friends from LA and New York once or twice a year (not that I have any place to say that there is anything wrong with that). Sure we're a luxury resort, but we're a luxury resort family. Ute City will always be here. This will always be holy ground. Long after Aspen is gone, and nothing is left of the name but the trees, the spirit of this valley will be here as it has always been and always will be. Those of us who Aspen has become a part of understand. It doesn't matter where you go, you're always here. I don't read the New York Times every day in New York City, but I read the Aspen Daily News almost every damn day. It's not exactly the spiritual summering ground of the Ute Indians anymore is it? But it's the cocaine summering ground of the rich and famous. It's an orgy of drugs, sex, and happiness, but it is still holy ground and your high may be enhanced as a result so be grateful. Many of these crazy old rich people are absolutely a pleasure to party with. I mean heck, I was raised by them. But at least they lived here year round. I come from the greed heads, I don't want to lie, but they were Texans, and they were just as Gonzo as fireworks baby. My Grandparents raised me, and they were Gonzos. They didn't do psychedelics but they were madmen, they were the lunatics of the lunatics. The savage that creeps in the night may also ski powder in the morning. We are the natives, and like any good tribe or nation, assimilation is the key. Welcome to Aspen. We have epic world class skiing on four mountains that are almost never crowded because we are the town at the end of the Rainbow. We are the top of the pyramid. It's Caddyshack baby. The employees have more fun. This is Aspen. This is what they planned. And we are living off the Fat of Fat City. Ute City is gone. They raped but it sure keeps the mountains uncrowded. I mean ski passes sure are cheaper at Vail, and the rest of those mountains. And try going skiing at Christmas at any of them, lift lines are an hour long. Gapers surround and you're slaloming in and out of city skiers. Seems to me these things all add up somehow. We're really fired up about this Ski Co pass adjustment, and fine. The workers in Aspen that I know are pretty damn happy. I'm always the first to get crazy and complain about the idiocy of the status quo, but i'm really trying to see things as being already perfect; even in the midst of its endless evolution. Everything could be perfect and vibrating in the joyous symmetry of chaos as the universe spins out into infinity rotating and all the molecules dance in the gentle stream of galaxies. Which brings me back to Aspen and the Ski pass changes. You know what? It ain't that bad. It may be an unspoken policy, but if we are twice as expensive as everywhere else, then we might just be half as crowded. And my darling Aspenites, could we ask for anything more? If you want Aspen to be like X-games year round, then please leave.

Pot Store in Aspen?

Strange days indeed. A legal capitalization of dope in Fat City. Click title to read more from the Aspen Daily News.

World Population Projected to Reach 7 Billion by Next Year

Well, I'd say it's worrisome that we are adding another billion people every 12 years the last few decades, and it looks like we'll do it again over the next twelve years. So many of us are proving rather taxing on the earth. But at the same time who knows what's really going on here? Maybe there will be a huge catastrophic event which wipes out 5 or 6 billion people. In such a case, a giant population would be a God-send. So who knows? It's all perspective I guess. I hate to admit that. I mean I'd like to go on a good rant about the idiocy of man, and how ridiculous we are for not taking better care of the earth. Giant human populations=environmental degradation. According to me, to my limited mind, my limited knowledge, according to the simple logic of violent extraction of materials and ruthless modern gardening techniques, we are being pretty brutal to Mother Earth. It's not all roses and strawberries. But maybe she can handle it. Maybe we are just doing what we are supposed to.

According to the Teaching of Buddha:

"People cherish the distinction of purity and impurity; but in the nature of things, there is no such distinction, except as it rises from false and absurd images in their mind.

In like manner people make a distinction between good and evil, but good and evil do not exist separately.

People naturally fear misfortune and long for good fortune; but if the distinction is carefully studied, misfortune often turns out to be good fortune and good fortune to be misfortune. The wise man learns to meet the changing circumstances of life with an equitable spirit, being neither elated by success nor depressed by failure. Thus one realizes the truth of non-duality.

Therefore, all the words that express relations of duality -- such as existence and non-existence, worldy passions and true-knowledge, purity and impurity, good and evil -- none of these terms of contrast in one's thinking are expressed or recognized in their true nature. When people keep free from such terms and from the emotions engendered by them, they realize Sunyata's universal truth. Just as the pure and fragrant lotus flower grows out of the mud of a swamp rather than out of the clean loam of an upland field, so from the muck of worldly passions springs the pure enlightenment of Buddhahood."

We've been mucking up the world for awhile now, so maybe we are really on our way to enlightenment and visions of the pure land, heaven on earth, Zion, and 7 billion human manifestations of the Creator caring for Mother Earth. That sounds nice. Just for today, the glass shall be half-full.

total recall

So it's all true, and nothing is true. That's pretty much what it comes down to. That's about all I have to say. I say a whole lotta else. But it's all just jabber, because who am I to say how it is. It's just one interpretation of one man who has spent his life reading between the lines. It's all been said. There is nothing new to say. It is the way we think it is. Our perceptions define our reality. A thousand years from now already exists a thousand years from now. We're changing it right now.

The Captain of Ferris Dies

We salute you captain Hughes. Thank you for giving us Ferris. Always Save Ferris old boy. Ed Rooney salutes you old boy. The Sausage King of Chicago is rolling in his grave. Love to you gifted sir. Rest in Peace.

It's a full moon and I walked up 8th avenue
Warm summer night
Neon lights and a dim threatening quiet
shivers of decay
asking
Where is the madness?
Is this utopia?
This clip of gin and silent decrepitude
I want a revolution
but what's the point?
Is everything already perfect?
Sure is weird out there
An odd perspective
looking out from this
illusion of separation

America is a gelatinous playground. Ripe for a luncheon picnic.

little break

She light dawns eye
river shy moon
claw rout river guide
table claw rule
clam sauce
french mouth
loon
people on the lazy trail
walking back toward Jickity lane

Talk to me Hugh Roy

I should be doing homework.

Now that's a strange thing to say at 29 years old. But then, it doesn't really seem strange at all. I spent 20 odd years in some school or another. It comes naturally. I've had quite a few jobs, but none since I closed my last business. I'm starting a new company called Open Mind LLC, but the one thing I can almost guarantee you, is that it won't be doing much, at least not much for the moment. I don't do much. In fact, I'm not really sure there's too much to do.

A professor gave me some advice today. One of the things he suggested was that I think about law school because he had a feeling I wouldn't want to deal with the bullshit of a more academic masters or PhD program. That could be good advice.

[ALRIGHT I'M CUTTING MYSELF OFF RIGHT HERE! I HAVE TO TAKE MY DOG OUT AND WRITE THREE PAPERS. DO I REALLY WANT TO BE LIVING ON SOME ISLAND IN HAWAII IN THE JUNGLE IN PARADISE GROWING MY OWN FOOD ON THE FREE EDUCATE YOURSELF PROGRAM?] NO MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STAY IN SCHOOL AND GET SOME LETTERS AFTER MY NAME AND PRETEND THAT ITS MY JOB TO SAVE THE WORLD. I'M STARTING THE DO NOTHING CAMPAIGN. ENOUGH WITH TRYING TO MOVE ISRAEL TO UTAH FOR THE SAFETY OF THE CHOSEN PEOPLE. ITS TIME FOR SOMETHING NEW.

click the title to read a little ditty on my great great granddad. He did a lot and gave a lot away. I'm thinking of doing nothing. Jungle or city? Talk to me Hugh Roy. What should I do?

What if every single one of us, was in each one of us?

something corny that I'm sure has been said before. But it jumped into my mindhead.

Man doesn't perform the miracles. The miracles perform the man.

An Advertisement for the Church of the Open Mind

So lest anyone think i'm just too corny with all this positive we're all connected stuff.

All this we're all angels stuff,

all this one beautiful human race, guardians of this earth stuff;

I know it's a little hard to swallow what with all the ultra-violence, murder, rape, and Three Stooges. I think it's true though. You bet.

But it's also true that we're fuck ups.

We're fallen angels. You bet. We're the children of Satan.

You bet.

But let's not forget, that makes God our Granddad.

And you can bet that God always loved his fallen son Lucifer. And so what if Papa Satan and his offspring killed off pretty much all the rest of the angels, and took to raping their Mother Earth for profit?

We're just doing the best we can. We have to give ourselves a break.

We're only human.

This Guy is a Nutcase... Man on Mars by 2031? (click here for more on the story)

Buzz Aldrin thinks we should spread mankind to Mars. This is idiocy. What a magnificent waste of money, time, brains, and resources. We could feed all the poor on earth 10 times over on the amount of money we spend figuring out how to shoot rockets and people into the unlivable environs of space. Sure, we can insulate ourselves out there in our little mini space-station atmospheres, but don't get the wrong idea. Space is not where we want to be living. There is no water. There are no trees. There is no life. With all our powerful telescopes, helping us look out into the vast infinities of space, we still have not found anything that looks like the paradise we have on earth. But we just keep searching as we destroy our little life giving Planet with overpopulation and an ever exported obsession with our consumption driven, selfish and individualist culture. We could be putting all the money we put into our spaceships into developing green energy. At minimum we should halt all space exploration until we can do it without burning any carbon fuels or creating any environmental waste. Buzz Aldrin, old decrepit man that he is, should be shot into outer space with the rest of the idiots on the last rocket from Cape Canaveral.

Well listen here Cowboy

Old peckerwood
out in the thicket
drifting in and out of sleep
running down the branches
then he spoke to the river people
and said
in his Texas drawl
The only thing I know, you little peckers, is that I don't know anything.

Alright,

so here is the deal. I can't shut up. My brain keeps going and going, and I can't help that I enjoy thinking, and then the talking just happens. It's like thinking out my mouth. "Dynamic." In my case, as one of my favorite people on earth, and best of friends, just reminded me, that translates to "your loud, and you talk to much." A dose of reality is always good. He's absolutely right, that just about sums me up. I'm a loud monkey that likes the company of other monkeys. That's why I need to become either a preacher or a stand-up comedian (as if there is a difference), because I just need to get this shit off my chest. It's either about my stupid little story, or about what needs to change in the world, what's wrong with the world blah blah blah. It's just the way I'm wired. So if I can just talk for my job, then I won't need to jabber to the people I care about. The truth is there is nothing really to say. But I just keep saying it. People on the whole just don't care. They don't want to hear it. And that's understandable. I don't want to hear it either.

We're just here. I can't shut up. Iran is developing nuclear weapons. Some things in life you just have to accept as being the way they are. Thanks to all those who listen to my jabberings. I spent years sitting back and talking to a psychiatrist. I think it became a habit. I seem to treat everyone across from me like a psychiatrist. I don't have many secrets. I'm kinda like that clawed open chested depiction of Hanuman. Anyhoo. That's just me. The Reverend idiot, aspiring to be a better man. Some of us are called to play the fool. Is there even any point trying to be different than what comes naturally?

""

It all depends what we put between the quotation marks.

Man

Ain't it cool that we're just about pretty much made of God. What's up little molecules!?!?

nothing ever goes anywhere in this infinite universe of ours. It just changes. Energy becomes energy becomes energy

people are beautiful

So I went in this antique shop and the owner, Vladimir, had all these really old hand painted Russian and Greek Christian murals. They reminded me of Buddhist and Hindu spiritual representations I had seen before. Jesus was depicted in sitting postures with his hands in poses reminiscent of Shiva, Ganesha, Krishna and the Buddha.

Was Christianity simply a reaction to the Monotheism of the Jewish faith which left man the inheritor of God's wrath and anger? Was it simply a reaction of man to his own fallen nature? Jesus Christ represents the divinity of man. Were we tired of feeling guilty? Were we tired of feeling doomed? Were we detached from our divine nature? Why do we worship Jesus? Did he not tell us that if we wanted to find God, we should look within? He did not want to be worshiped. He was a teacher and a preacher, who was forsaken on the cross by his father, the Lord. Yet we retold the story, making this torturous death of a prophet, our own redemption. He died for our sins. Yes, he certainly did, because it was we who killed him. Man killed man, or, as we have been taught, man killed God. But somehow we came out of this forgiven, well, at least those of us who believed, who accepted Jesus Christ in our hearts. We were forgiven.

Originally you had to be Jewish to be a Christian, that is of course until Paul started writing his letters, opening up the religion to Gentiles. The fact that the fledgling church was not going to get far without new believers may have played into this strategy. Many Jews didn't seem to want to get off the hook. They wanted to keep on wearing their little black caps. They wanted to keep on being the recipients of God's punishment and wrath, reaping the rewards of the fruits of our banishment from the Garden.

Anyways, all I was really trying to say is that walking down the street today, and seeing a blind man grasping at a wall, looking for a door that wasn't there, and then watching myself and another tattooed bad ass looking white boy, rush to help the blind black man, both asking him if he needed help, the other gentleman gently grasping the blind man's arm. He was looking for the barber shop, which was just 3 or so feet from where he was looking. We said "hey man, you're right there." We helped him in, and looked at each other knowingly, and I thought, on the verge of tears, man, people are beautiful. People are divine. People are angels.

to be continued...

So it was in june of 2009 that I decided to seek out a priest, a rabbi, a minister, a monk, a yogi, a guru, and any other spiritual authority I could find in order to find my own place as a shepherd in this bizarre world of ours. Now, admittedly, it may seem strange that a man with a strong taste for drugs, women, and rigorous self-analysis would be called to the cloth. But God works in mysterious ways. I was ordained in February of 2008 by the illustrious and reputable Universal Life Church Monastery, but it was really an ordination without education, a certification with little substance beyond my own covenant with the Lord. At the time my brain was overloaded with it’s own natural chemicals, at levels above what would be termed “normal.” I was full of energy, full of spirit, full of inspiration, but unfortunately also still full of ego. I was experiencing what would medically be diagnosed as hypomania. I was not psychotic. I would find myself beyond the pleasantries of hypomania, in full fledged manic psychosis about a month later. That would be my first psychosis as an ordained minister, and appropriately it happened outside a church, as I had the revelations.

Just a bit of Ranting before I get to work.

Well first off, I'm feeling quite well. Long day. Had to engage the brain. Signed up for this Global Affairs course at NYU that is way more intensive than I expected, 6 classes, 1 semester worth of work each one, all in 1 month? Jesus, where did I miss the fine print. I thought seminar meant it was going to be a mellow affair. Not so much.

But getting to the point, I'd like to talk about the stuff that I don't quite yet know how to incorporate into the Church of the Open Mind. Now i've already written there, and here for that matter, that we are all Jews. Why? Read the Old Testament, it's the main Jewish text, you may have heard it referred to as the Tanakh. I'm sure you've heard the story. God created the heavens and the earth, and he created Adam and Eve, the first people. Well then we took Anthropology and found out that Adam and Eve were monkeys, or pretty damn close. Do we doubt that they were monkeys? Well try the Biblical "fact" that they were running around the jungle naked unaware of their nakedness. Sounds like a monkey to me.

Until of course they disobeyed their father and ate of the tree of knowledge. I've heard it written that it wasn't actually an apple, this tree of knowledge, it was actually like some kind of wheatie treat. Could be that it grew fungus, which looked on a molecular level, a little bit like LSD. This fungus, if ingested, would reveal the true nature of reality... the game... the tree of knowledge. Anyways. After they ate of the tree of knowledge they weren't Monkeys anymore. They were Assholes. Gods little pain in the ass. They were still in Africa, and me thinks they were black. Or should I say: WE WERE BLACK? It took some moving around. It took this guy Abraham running off from a group of polytheists who he didn't agree with. And then we were Jews. So that's why we're all Jews.

Now I don't want anyone getting the idea that i'm extra special picking on the Jews. I could say what I'm about to say about Iran as well. Religious states just give me the Heebie Jeebies. Along those lines, so long as Jews keep thinking that the rest of us aren't Jewish, and therefore want a Jewish State/homeland all for themselves, instead of sharing the world with the rest of us Jews, every single one of us including the Atheists, the Christians, the Muslims, the Buddhists, the Zoroastrians, Scientologists, and the rest, I think the only place they will be safe is Utah, surrounded by Mormons.

So that's what I wanted to say. Utah should open a section up to be the new Jewish state, safely encapsulated by America and no longer in the midst of enemies who have sworn to destroy it. It would be like a last resort safety escape plan, in case the Middle East gets too sketchy, and the Israelis want to try out a new Zion and fulfill the Mormon version of the Bible.

Anyhow. Israel wasn't ours to give, and it was in the midst of other people's land. So it was our mistake. We should make Utah available, because it is the right thing to do. We can leave it to the Latter Day Saints and the Jews to fight it out over who gets the rights to Zion National Park. Let them battle it out for who gets to control which part of Salt Lake City. Just get the Jews the hell out of Israel before God comes back to earth and tears down the Temple walls again and we all get burned up in the fire. Peace.

what if

The Big Bang was when god ripped positive and negative apart from each other? It's never been the same since. Then he sent us down here to collect reports and fuck each other.

Happy 4th of July from North Korea

Ooh. I'm so scared. North Korea fired seven scud missles, each with a range of about 312 miles. Is that what you call a fireworks show? We'll have more arsenal in the skies above New York and DC tonight than those little pansy missiles. An act of defiance they call it. Hah. More like a little fuck you with a big smile wrapped around it. Give me a break. It's not exactly a nuke fired at Hawaii. But we toast you in return with a glass of champagne. We love you North Korea. Baby, you don't want the pain. You are our brothers and sisters. Aloha.

I dreamed last night that I was on a private flight with John McCain, the pilot died, plane shot up, I jumped out the door and floated down to the ground with the help of a yellow balloon. I shit you not. After braving the swamp, alligators, snakes, spiders, I ended up in the same field where I landed. Then I walked to Hawaii, wondering why I entered that swamp in the first place.

If we all looked at each other, and saw our selves and those around us, as the angels that we are, we would smile more.

Did Lao Tzu ever have a hangover?

Man, when he enters life,
is soft and weak.
When he dies
he is hard and strong.
Plants, when they enter life,
are soft and tender.
When they die
they are dry and stiff.
Therefore: the hard and the strong
are companions of death;
the soft and weak
are companions of life.
Therefore: when weapons are strong they are not victorious.
When trees are strong they are cut down.
The strong, the great, is below.
The soft, the weak, is above.

Lao Tzu
Dao De Ching
76

Like Moses, Jesus, Abraham, Mohammed, Buddha. Yea, those fellas and their ilk

Every religion is flawed, because every prophet was flawed, because every prophet was a man, and come on people, nobody's perfect. I know i've said it before, and I just have to say it again. Will these pig fuckers just stop talking all the time about things they do not know! Come on people. We don't really have a clue what's going on here. Let's be honest for a second. We're up to our necks in a complicated modernity. We have nuclear weapons, global warming, pollution, we are wiping other species off the earth every day, we are running out of supplies. So we are human beings. High and low, beyond and beneath.

Can we stop killing each other? It's a tuff one. We are hard wired for violence. This new world is not for violence though. This murder and rape and guilt is a flaw in the wiring, this is the darkness of the past, of the decay which has now made us ripe. Let's start fresh, this is not the light of the present, this violence and rape and cruelty which we have allowed ourselves to be surrounded by. Enough. We are damn right training ourselves wrong.

Stop telling each other what the truth is. You don't have a clue. You Jehovah's Witness, shut up. You Jew, zip it, Abraham was a man. He said there is one god. Great. Give the man a prize. There are also a million Gods. Hey Witness of Allah, psst. You are still following the Jews. Moses, Jesus, Mohammad, they were still carrying the message of Abraham. Let it go. Try Buddha. Same One. Try Lao Tzu. Same One. Try LSD. Same One. Try Rasta. Same One. I know nothing. It's empty. It's whole. Come in Honolulu, the ship has left the harbor and is floating unmanned at sea.

a good feeling

is to give everything and expect nothing.

Another Soft Whisper Passes Down the Line

Damn this damn blog. Why do I write a damn blog? Laying it all down the line? It's not reality. It's not me. It's just the plain old insanity off the top of my head. It has very little to do with reality. I guess I just write for myself. Damn though. Feel like I may have run off something good with this Gonzo chatter.

you know, sometimes the best way is just to not give a shit

red grape juice
dribbling down his face
grapes
all over his face
salivating
fruits
pulsing
in decay
who cares?
as the laughter
danced down the road
all the little shrimp people
ate their slivers of lime
the ballerinas sipped their blood
and the soft parade licked itself with glee
and rolled on

A Question

When did having a muse become weird and creepy rather than chivalrous?

Well Goodness Gracious.

Big crazy night last night. Took Kingston for a walk this morning in Central Park. The no leashes before 9 am rule is the greatest. He actually gets to be a dog a little bit. So i'm tired. I'm hungover. And i'm happy. I'm happy that i'm in New York, and it seems like maybe I had to come all this way to get freedom from this attachment i've had to this idea of a girl I just couldn't get over. I was raised all over the world, never really had a home. Didn't meet my dad till I was 16. Mom left me with grandparents when I was 2, then they sent me to England to be with her maybe a year or so later, then my grandparents took me back when I was like 4. Then I got shipped off to boarding school when I was 12. It's really not a very sad story. It's the story of a family with too many resources financially, and not enough resources emotionally. But hey, these are tales of luxury problems. But anyways. I guess the whole adventure left me with some serious abandonment issues. I could not be with the people I loved, no matter how hard I longed to or tried. Dad in Greece, Mom in England, Grandparents in Aspen till they divorced, and then it was Aspen, Hawaii, Greece, Houston, England. I could never be in enough places at once. But they were all nice places to be. The whole world is a pretty nice place to be. So anyhoo. When I was 18 I fell in love with a girl who lived far away. And it was the same old story. I couldn't be with her, and I guess that just made me want it all the more. I always seem to fall when there is distance involved. But there was just this one girl who never left my heart. Her name was Jenn. She lived in NY. It took me ten years of longing, desperation, and madness, wanting her to somehow change her life or come to me, or whatever odd insanity. And then it dawned on me. It was like a bolt of lightening. Go to New York. So I did. But i'm starting to think that was the destiny, and the girl just got me here. Now that i'm here I don't really even want to see her. I'm here now. It's over. The trip is done. The circle is complete. There are so many wonderful women, and I feel like loving Jenn has taught my heart to love freely, it has expanded my love into the universe. Now i'm ready to give my love again. Now I'm free. I'm gonna go get a burger. Aloha.

These are the Words the President Said-(click here to read entire speech)

Too many tears have flowed. Too much blood has been shed. All of us have a responsibility to work for the day when the mothers of Israelis and Palestinians can see their children grow up without fear; when the Holy Land of three great faiths is the place of peace that God intended it to be; when Jerusalem is a secure and lasting home for Jews and Christians and Muslims, and a place for all of the children of Abraham to mingle peacefully together as in the story of Isra, when Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed (peace be upon them) joined in prayer

B.H. OBAMA

38 of the Dao De Jing -Wilhelm Edition. Straight from the Monkeys Mouth... comfort for the insane

Whosoever cherishes Life
does not know about Life
therefore he has Life.
Whosoever does not cherish Life
seeks not to lose Life:
therefore he has no Life.
Whosoever cherishes Life
does not act and has no designs.
Whosoever does not cherish Life
acts and has designs.
Whosoever cherishes love acts but has no designs.
Whosoever cherishes justice acts and has designs.
Whosoever cherishes morality acts
and if someone does not respond to him
he waves his arms about and pulls him up.
Therefore: If DAO is lost, then Life.
If love is lost, then justice.
If justice is lost, then morality.
Morality is the penury of faith and trust
and the beginning of confusion.
Foreknowledge is the sham of DAO
and the beginning of folly.
Therefore the right man abides with fullness
and not with penury.
He lives in being, not in sham.
He puts the other away and adheres to this.

Ferris Lives

I am the nothing that creeps in the night.
I am the place where it doesn't exist.
Behind the illusion
Behind the truth
Everything
Nothing
Nothing
Everything
the illusion
the truth
the clarity
the fog
the dust
the life
I am the nothing
Ain't we all
Future man?

flipsides

Design your own program. G-d doesn't judge. Just be good. If you want to find what you're looking for. Stop looking for it. Oops, there it is.

Enjoyment

So I took the little black dog down to the Canarsie pier at the southern tip of Brooklyn. He needed a swim. There was bad traffic on the way down I must say. But I did take a wrong turn. I also don’t advise taking the Williamsburg bridge into Manhattan at the moment. Construction. Slow. Down at the beach next to the Canarsie pier, we found a coconut. Kingston thoroughly enjoyed swimming. He just swam and swam. Wouldn’t barely come out of the water. He swam so much in fact that when he did come out he squatted for a deuce, and brown water poured out his ass in a fountain. Gross, I know. Only the facts Jack. Jordan was my witness. Jordan and his brother were healthy young boys. They were weighty souls. But happy. They really loved the dog and had a super time playing with him. Good old Jordan asked me “do you have a mother?” I said yes. “Do you have a dad?” I said yes. I told Kingston to sit in my strong voice. The kid said “you have to be nice.” He’s right. I may not have to be nice, but I want to be nice.

I saw two big marine helicopters flying by down by the Canarsie pier. Up toward Manahatta. They had those big American Flags on. I thought “damn, is the president coming to town for some reason?” Turned out he was. Taking the wife to a Broadway show. Right on Barack Obama. Right on buddy. I’m sure the conservatives had something bad to say about it, tax payer dollars and all. They should fuck off. Obama took his wife out on a date. Presidential style. Right on Mr. President. Men, take your wives out. Right on. Enjoy. We’re incarnate!

Here's a bright idea.

I think Clown is going to be the best career path for me.

Let's see Maybe.

Well, I just have to add, as I have written a bit about this girl who my heart followed to NYC with me following behind like a reluctant dumb waiter, my odds are not good. Tonight I ate Chinese delivery using two pens as chopsticks because I don't have silver wear yet, and they didn't put a plastic fork or chopsticks in the bag. That was slippery. So I wanted to make a point about the unlikelihood of anything actually happening with this girl Jenn. She's a woman now, I don't know why I call her a girl. I guess I'm still just a boy. I may really be in New York City to let go of this girl, rather than unite with her as a woman. Maybe I had to follow my heart to let the chords finally be cut and let the spirit go free. We'll see. There is a strong conviction, fed by the molecular stimulants to be sure, that I'm somehow meant for this girl. But I don't think she's interested. In fact I've put plenty of nails in the coffin of any "normal" relationship with Jenn. It's coming up on the 10 year anniversary of me calling her up from the psych ward in hysterics, or maybe it was rehab. I can't really be sure. I was crazy at the time after all. And whenever I go crazy, I go bonkers for this girl. And that's not to say that the love is not always just right there under the surface and ready to ripple its madness, not that I don't think about her every day even when I'm not having the revelations. I thought I had let the girl go. I want her to be happy, I want her to be free. I have to imagine she must be. And she certainly does not need me. And a gayer little rhyme has never been seen. So what am I doing in New York? I'm learning to be me. But I'm fooling myself if I think the process is done. The girl, who I've called the Jew because she is Jewish and once asked me if I would think of converting to Judaism if I married a Jew, is the one really teaching me. She's like my little guardian angel in an alternate universe. The odds of us getting together are probably about 1 in a trillion, maybe 1 in 7 billion, well maybe slightly better than that, but either way they are probably close to the same odds that we are living on this planet, conscious beings experiencing our own deaths, orbiting around the sun in an infinite universe, talking on cellular phones, shooting ourselves through the sky at 500 miles an hour and launching ourselves into outer space in rockets, and communicating with our kin in a digital world of 0s and 1s. How apt that my new zip code is 10001. I'm just a slow learner. At the time I told Jenn that I'd never be a Jew, I had opinions. There was no way I was going to convert to Judaism for any damn thing. I can't remember why. I've had to hate all religions and deconstruct it all and be a nothing in order to come full circle, back to my Episcopalian roots as a child, back to my Jewish roots before that, I mean you did have to be a Jew to be a Christian originally, and back to my African roots before that, because we did all walk out of Africa, all our ancestors are there, and back to my primordial oozeness before that, in order to discover again that in the Nothing, it is all true. I can be it all, as long as I am nothing. And everyone else can be just as much whatever they are as they are. It's all good. So I may have to marry a blond German, Uberales. Who knows. The point is that I have ceased thinking that I really have a choice in the matter. It's like my old self, the self that I identified with as a separate entity, an Andrew, who had been wounded and needed something to complete me, that selfish entity striving to be a self, separate, individual, the Ayn Rand prototype human, it's like that Andrew has died. I have become, or am striving to become, a nothing. I renounce the illusion of control. One thing is for damn sure. I love my dog. I'm just doing this thing. I have no clue what the hell I'm doing. I'm a servant. That's the work of love, the work of the nothing. Maybe Jenn floated, maybe I drowned. It doesn't matter. We all die. We all live forever. The helix. The spiral intertwined, the orbits, the circles. Life. I guess I'm just insane. I'm not manic. I don't have any answers, just an utterly strong conviction in my belief that I don't know. Behind I don't know, my truth is interconnectedness. My faith is in the Human race, one people, one love. But that's so cheesy. Only don't know. That's my motto. It certainly makes life a bit more of a trip. Just a slight move can really change a mans perspective. We get what we need. We appear and reappear and disapear. We die, and are reborn. Namaste. Aloha. Good night.

Nowhere. Now, here. HERE NOW. NOW HERE

yesterday, right near Astor Place, red playing card sitting face down on the side walk. Top of the card says "The Game of Life & How to Play it." So I pick it up and turn it over. Not your average playing card. Bottom says Perfect Self-expression pg. 82. Message on card "Infinite Spirit, give me a definite lead, reveal to me my perfect self-expression, show me which talent I am to make use of now." I'm here.

Green-glowing monkeys have green-glowing babies

The Cruise

I'm just cruising onward. Watching the movie. Seeing where it goes. Getting the apt looking nice. Getting it done. On the Way. Already here. As it is. Let the will of the All be done. Tune tune tune.

Just in case we don't seem like quite enough of an asshole. 5/21/2009. Here's the update on reality, 10 years after my head first exploded in my ass.

Don't forget I am the Reverend Andrew Scott, the Goose Wrangler; an ordained minister, ordained by the Universal Life Church Monastery. I'm bonafied. A bonafied disaster of love fueled madness on wheels. What do I want to do with my life, a model who has known she wanted to be a model and a singer since whe was 13, asked me. I told her I don't know. I've wanted to be a husband and a father since I was 16. That's my high aspiration. Beyond that, I guess I just want to save the world. She laughed. Well shit, I laugh at myself. A real man of faith knows the world doesn't need saving. What the heck kind of reverend does that make me?

See, there are many different levels of reality. At one level everything is fucked and humanity is wreaking havoc and destruction on each other and other life on this planet, and the fastest way to cut your carbon emissions is to just lay on down and die. In that light, all the real environmentalists should just freaking kill ourselves because we'll just never ever be perfect angels. But maybe we already are. I suppose that is really the question of faith.

Beyond that frequency of an angry god, manifested through our own ego and guilt, is the perfection of the All, the Great Is that lies behind our illusions of free will and the idea that we have control over our destiny. We are all, all of us temporary matter, the rocks and trees, the lizards and monkeys, we're all just orbiting around the sun, right? Floating in the midst of infinities of universes, trapped in time, and the illusion of separateness? So we whipsaw and jabberwalk and complain; and build spaceships and sell bottled water. And Why? Maybe because we had to. Maybe we had to do everything we did. Maybe we had to make all the mistakes we made. Maybe we had to go insane. Maybe we had to hate ourselves and each other. Maybe. Was there any other way?

Because of what is, how can it not be? That's the power many call God. It can be a just God, an angry God, a loving God, a perfect God, an imperfect God. We can define It with all the human attributes we want. It just is what it is brothers and sisters. It is what it is. Here we are. We are the Winterberries, witnessing the past fall away, as we fall.

Faith is not a bad thing. It combats many frequencies of madness. It is a soothing medication, but it has its own dangers. It causes its own frequencies of madness when left unchecked. It is the madness of belief, of faith, which causes more war and pain than any of its rival psychotic states. The rules of the open mind are designed to combat this insanity.

What are the rules of the open mind, and how can they combat the psychosis of unchecked belief in a limited form of reality which causes the blindness of men, and hides ourselves from our own true nature? I don't know. That's the first and maybe the only rule. I'm human, I'm infinite energy in a temporary body; a part of the organism of life, a part of the Great Is, yet small and powerless in the midst of greatness. All our religions teach humility, but how can we call ourselves humble if we claim to actually know the nature of reality?

Man, in trying to define God, is at his most insane. And also we are at our most insane when we define ourselves as different or separate from God and from each other because of what we believe, what nation we think we're from, or what color we are. Here is conscious creation in the thick of delusion. But at the same time, can it be any other way?

The truth will catch up. We are already one human family, we are one blood, one people, one human race. We just don't all know it yet, even though we do. If there was a Garden of Eden, an Adam and Eve, the first people. They were the ancestors of us all. We all walked out of Africa on our own two feet, and the ones that stayed behind are still our brothers and sisters. If there is a tribe of Israel, God's chosen people, then we are all those people. We are all Jews. We are all Muslims, we are all what we are: perfect and imperfect, yin and yang, empty, whole. At the end of the day there is always the night, but the Sun never stops shining. It's the sun that lights the moon.

So welcome to the Church of the Open Mind. We can have our own beliefs, and believe them devoutly, and still know we don't have a clue. We're all in the game. We're all just watching our movies. We're the stars of our own little movies in the midst of this bigger movie called life and death, in the midst of a bigger movie called infinity. It's all going to be alright. It has to be, because it is.