Well first off, I'm feeling quite well. Long day. Had to engage the brain. Signed up for this Global Affairs course at NYU that is way more intensive than I expected, 6 classes, 1 semester worth of work each one, all in 1 month? Jesus, where did I miss the fine print. I thought seminar meant it was going to be a mellow affair. Not so much.
But getting to the point, I'd like to talk about the stuff that I don't quite yet know how to incorporate into the Church of the Open Mind. Now i've already written there, and here for that matter, that we are all Jews. Why? Read the Old Testament, it's the main Jewish text, you may have heard it referred to as the Tanakh. I'm sure you've heard the story. God created the heavens and the earth, and he created Adam and Eve, the first people. Well then we took Anthropology and found out that Adam and Eve were monkeys, or pretty damn close. Do we doubt that they were monkeys? Well try the Biblical "fact" that they were running around the jungle naked unaware of their nakedness. Sounds like a monkey to me.
Until of course they disobeyed their father and ate of the tree of knowledge. I've heard it written that it wasn't actually an apple, this tree of knowledge, it was actually like some kind of wheatie treat. Could be that it grew fungus, which looked on a molecular level, a little bit like LSD. This fungus, if ingested, would reveal the true nature of reality... the game... the tree of knowledge. Anyways. After they ate of the tree of knowledge they weren't Monkeys anymore. They were Assholes. Gods little pain in the ass. They were still in Africa, and me thinks they were black. Or should I say: WE WERE BLACK? It took some moving around. It took this guy Abraham running off from a group of polytheists who he didn't agree with. And then we were Jews. So that's why we're all Jews.
Now I don't want anyone getting the idea that i'm extra special picking on the Jews. I could say what I'm about to say about Iran as well. Religious states just give me the Heebie Jeebies. Along those lines, so long as Jews keep thinking that the rest of us aren't Jewish, and therefore want a Jewish State/homeland all for themselves, instead of sharing the world with the rest of us Jews, every single one of us including the Atheists, the Christians, the Muslims, the Buddhists, the Zoroastrians, Scientologists, and the rest, I think the only place they will be safe is Utah, surrounded by Mormons.
So that's what I wanted to say. Utah should open a section up to be the new Jewish state, safely encapsulated by America and no longer in the midst of enemies who have sworn to destroy it. It would be like a last resort safety escape plan, in case the Middle East gets too sketchy, and the Israelis want to try out a new Zion and fulfill the Mormon version of the Bible.
Anyhow. Israel wasn't ours to give, and it was in the midst of other people's land. So it was our mistake. We should make Utah available, because it is the right thing to do. We can leave it to the Latter Day Saints and the Jews to fight it out over who gets the rights to Zion National Park. Let them battle it out for who gets to control which part of Salt Lake City. Just get the Jews the hell out of Israel before God comes back to earth and tears down the Temple walls again and we all get burned up in the fire. Peace.
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