should i just wake up and sleep through life?

Good morning winterberries
as the starlight whispers to the dawn
Slick hot fat
runs down the edges of the page
as it drips off the leaves
The peak of Summer
Tennis and waterskiing
and dreaming of a fresh horizon where there
is meaning
where oil isn't so important and where money is safe
in a bank not from thieves with guns,
but from thieves with suits
the river of life keeps flowing
carrying the pollutants away
and sour tidings to the sewage sea
shark fins ripped gently through the fluid
the little fishing boat floating gently in the buoying tide
and all the floatng people eating Prosac in the soft crusade
There are no floatsam quills here
This flesh exploration
as PlayBoy fleapots sit idly by as the margaritas eat themselves in harmony
A black dog kingston obessively chews the town with only floss

yea, that's the ticket...

May all sentient beings be released from the bondage of self.
May the light radiate through the universe and dispel all illusions of separation.
May you be happy
May you be well
May you be free from suffering.

Analyzing Dreams

The polecat swears out
mouthwise
into the wind
with pictures of the modern age
The future mechanized
Daily jive on television
Cheap eats
Cupcakes in the oven
A claw descends from Heaven
pulling the word pirate from the ash heap
Prayers of anti-repetition
The roll to revert
waiting for the dawn
in conscious insanity
listening to dreams talk about reality
bleeding from the shoulder
from the feet
hobbling around on a concrete floor
trying to avoid a decaying elk
with fears of gangrene
and some Hawaiian is waiting outside for hours
in an idling open aired vehicle
waiting for the future
but the house is a history of pain
littered with the refuse of insanity
and the little Mindhead cannot escape
from this family home
The dead grandfather sleeping nervously in a hidden room
will not wake up
Has the summer of this human life ended
or is just beginning
as the third symbol of habitual love
ascends into the void?

A Short Novel

The slipline wipes itself off
with the dew of a hopeful morning
It's mind sits curled beneath the earth
Fingers gently grope the chest
on a playground for animals
during the dilapidation of the larvae and bacterial growth
This eye whispers desperately and shouts,
without glee
and the whole machine spins mindlessly
on perpetual motion
This dripping fat world
sprays the filthy meaty juice and plastic bags
and strangles us with information
Another timeline
and endless repetition of the same different things
So the spider crawls from inside
tickling the ear
with venomous innocence
and the nightmare of existence
prays to be a dream
and then again
becomes nothing

drawing a blank

Can someone please help me out? What's wrong with these celebrity types. Brangelina named their new offspring. The boy is Knox Leon Pitt and the girls name is Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt. Do these people think just because their kids are born famous that shitty names will not affect them? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knox. Knox Leon. He'll grow up in the world of soft knocks, a Hollywood boy with severely good looks, and a family bank account that grows 40 million a flick. A mansion in LA, a mansion in France, his mother has huge lips, and his fathers most convincing role was as a stoner in True Romance. Not that any of that matters. It doesn't. I just can't think of anything to write.

It seems like just yesterday that everything was grand, the economy was great, everything was rosy, the chemicals in my brain were pumping me with euphoric mania, and there were big plans for world peace and harmony. There was meaning, there was potential, there was hope. In short, we were insane.

How I long for the days when the Oval Office was used for the enjoyment of oral sex. Those were better days. Nowadays it's just a boring den of beady eyes, plotting the new world order with prayers for Armageddon and the blessings of Jesus in a war against "evil." Thank god our lives are in the hands of these rational thinkers.

What is the basic malfunction of this human organism? The tree of knowledge? Internet porn? Microwave popcorn? Religion? The ingredients of a hot dog?

What does it mean if we are all the same? George W. Bush and his brother Osama Bin Laden are just two examples of people acting out their beliefs. People are rarely as wrong as when they think they're right. The sound of the sheep is silence.

DUH MM

So if the glass is neither half full nor half empty, because in fact there is no glass unless we invent it, then the world is not bipolar, everything is actually not up or down, and therefor, everything must be just fine and dandy; unless you watch the news, or date, or follow politics, environmental policy, gun control laws, or international nuclear proliferation. Sometimes things don't look so good, but at least we aren't locked up, getting raped on a regular basis. I'm only speaking for myself here. Have you ever been completely delusional? It's like an inside joke that only you are in on, but then you wake up one day and realize that it's everybody else who is in on a joke that you aren't in on. You've gone around trying to convince everyone that they are crazy, and they are, but you are really the crazy one because you've gone about thinking that you had some existence outside the game. That's the delusion, and the joke's on you! Sanity in the modern world is an oxy! Moron. Things are way too insane these days to make any sense out of what it is to be sane. You are either functioning, and therefor qualified to live in this insane world, or you are non-functioning, running around naked, having delusions of grandeur and paranoia, and blissing out on the interconnectivity of the universe, which means you are probably close to losing your freedom. Going insane disturbs the status quo of those around you, and is therefor frowned upon in general. As good as it feels to lose it, we must keep it together. Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together. Take your medicine. Shut up. Everything looks fine here Ma, ain't it grand the wind stopped blowing.

ripe fat kitten

The scourge mouthed bratwurst turned to its cousin and said, foul mouthed, "do not use me for your over-weight dice gamed floor shine schemes! I have had enough. With you, and your foolish games and capitalist whispers in your free market jive. Take a loaf and lick it, swine. The little ninny pants in his Out House in Washington. It's a free market free for all, and the chickens are coming home to roost. Big D! E! B! T! and a wicked yeehaw factor. Rich Rich Rich is how rich you have to be to not get screwed, and the hawbags have done garnered their prize. Now to rape the shorelines with a few black hole pumpers. Oh Well. Hello from Babbleon. Is there some compromise? Must we reap, oh bratwursts?"

YJS update.

Today, if only i'd had a camera at the store! I have to laugh. We sold a yellowjumpsuit and a cow suit this fine summer day, and the young gentlemen are now in neon, off to skateboard and swineherd the greedheads! These youths, entering their freshman years of high school, will be well prepared and glowing bright. Can the people of this small town, with its ridiculous rents, keep this little hole in the wall store from closing? The demand for bright yellowjumpsuits waxes and wanes like the light of the moon, the same moon I was on when this particular genius struck me. Sunglasses, glass wear, fine art, bright clothes, surrounded by bright yellow paint, here we are. It would be sin to close down, but sometimes you have to fold a hand to fight another day. The rent is stupid high, and my prices once reflected that, but, though I can tell a lie, I don't see why, and we slash prices like swashbuckling pirates. Aspen, Colorado, and here I am, just another ass with a pen, and not quite rich enough to feel right about surviving the coming off seasons. Business plan!? Hah, we laughed in the face of a business plan, and instead dressed in suits, signed the leasae, and painted the store. We built it, and the people have come, and then returned, but we are difficult to find, and we may not be best suited to this high end retirement community for the supremely rich. Maybe we should add gold plated adult diapers to our inventory.

The Green King... I wrote this a few years ago, june 14th 2006, and I think it's my fav. Same old shit

The Green King wets his mind hat

In the flower breath of tortured faces

Shaking the looks 

Heart mouthed out

Fetching nothingness and

Castles drop bottom faced 

Through his shoe horns.

A cracked beak shines bold

Faced on his rotten snout

Fresh parsley crowns his tarnished head

But he is pure green and couldn't be happier 

Eating his pimientos.

They are so green and

Hot red bread sauce 

Pours out his eyes onto his shaking hands and

He is gorgeous gorging his fat 

In meatball popsicles and french death

Drink his Coca Cola light 

In fetid 

Stupid

hash hating 

tobacco faced 

greasy

slimy

clammy

soft

pudgy 

Snail Rotten Shrimp sauce.

Everyone on the metro

Wore Green

And he was the Green King

In his green shorts

green Slippers

And a famous green shirt stuffed with French Cuffs and Shrimp Heads

What more was there he asked himself

Eating fake death every day and swallowing yourself in slime.

Does Gonzo really pay? We have to admit that this marvelous way of thinking ended in our hero philosopher blowing his brains all over the kitchen. He perches hawkishly over my stove, next to the ice box, smoking a cigarette.
"The Rifle cracked
The Pig Ran back
Then over the Cliff
To his Death
I plucked out his Eyes
And ate Them
His spirit Saluted me"
HST 10/22/94

Big bird is up in Heaven, looking straight back with the inside line on shoulda coulda woulda. Was there any choice in the matter? Or are we just doing exactly what we have to, and whistling away at free will?

Camus said:

"There are many causes for a suicide, and generally the most obvious ones were not the most powerful... What sets off the crisis is almost always unverifiable... But it is hard to fix the precise instant, the subtle step when the mind opted for death... killing yourself amounts to confessing. It is confessing that life is too much for you or that you do not understand it... It is merely confessing that that "is not worth the trouble." Living, naturally, is never easy. You continue making the gestures commanded by existence for many reasons, the first of which is habit. Dying voluntarily implies that you have recognized, even instinctively, the ridiculous character of that habit, the absence of any profound reason for living, the insane character of that daily agitation, and the uselessness of suffering.
What, then, is that incalcuble feeling that deprives the mind of the sleep necessary to life? A world that can be explained even with bad reasons is a familiar world. But, on the other hand, in a universe suddenly divested of illusions and lights, man feels an alien, a stranger. His exile is without remedy since he is deprived of the memory of a lost home or the hope of a promised land. This divorce between man and his life, the actor and his setting, is properly the feeling of absurdity. All healthy men having thought of their own suicide, it can be seen, without further explanation, that there is a direct connection between this feeling and the longing for death."

The jumpsuit project is having a crisis of direction. It's a crisis of leadership. Is an embrace of the absurdity of this insane reality we have built up around ourselves really the best option under the circumstances? Is it sensible here in this post post relativistic modernity to continue to embrace meaninglessness? Can we reconcile the fact that it's meaningful and meaningless at the same time? It is, or it ain't might be more like it. Relativity produces insanity. When it means something we go up, when it's meaningless we go down. Society is bipolar. We are running out of sense.

It's a crisis of thought. I don't really want to go down the road of one of my long time heroes, HST, blowing the absurd contents of my brain out through the back of my skull. I want to live life desperately and eliminate the dark habits of decay. I like what Baudelaire said: "Let us admit for a moment that hashish gives, or at least increases, genius; they forget that it is in the nature of hashish to diminish the will, and that thus it gives with one hand what it withdraws with the other; that is to say, imagination without the faculty of profiting by it."

blah blah blah...

The Bears

We have finally reached the threshold of a Bear Market, according to the New York Times, and it's all tied to oil. The Dow has dropped a thousand points in the last month, and while that makes me afraid to check my portfolio because some of that money floating in the ether is supposedly mine, I also find myself a little giddy. Maybe this is the point at which things will change. Probably not. Oil may drop drastically and everything will seem fine again. People may just return to the pumps as before. We forget that 100 years ago we could have gotten around just fine on the fantastic system of trains that ran across this country. Wouldn't it be nice to just jump on a train here in Aspen, and not have to rocket into the air in an aluminum tube with jets attached to its wings? I feel like smoking a cigarrette, and taking the day off work. It's beautiful here in the mountains, but I miss the city. I miss being surrounded by masses of humanity. I miss the smells, the smiles, the sprawl. Life is a mystery. I've experienced major insanity, and let me tell you, it's a whole lot more realistic than what we call reality. The world we've invented is a world of nonsense, a black and white world in the midst of a universe of color floating in a void. Insanity is a rebellion against the walls of psychotic culture, it makes one feel powerful and fills the soul with an indignation and a hope of something else. When that falls away, there is only culture floating in a void of possibilities. This culture is something solid, stinking, wretched, crushing our souls in the spinning disposal of separation. Good Morning America. Doesn't anyone hear the screams of our crushed soul? We are boiling our potential in this melting pot. Hope? Faith? Joy? Honesty? Love? Rebellion.

So it's like some kind of journal

Well, I documented the pure insanity here in these online pages. The truth is it's been a shit storm, and I've done pretty well fooling myself on that account over the years. I guess I've been an emotional wreck since I can't really say when. I was born on the road, never knew my father, got left with my grandparents, and from there I got shipped around a whole lot. It really wasn't very much fun growing up a spoiled rich kid. It's more than it's made out to be. As much as I like to pretend, as I sit here mired in a crap heap of 28 years of hiding from my misery, I must say, when I wasn't the boy crying in the dark, I was whistling. So i'm sitting here paralyzed, wondering how to get out of this mess. I never really threw any clothes away over the years, partly as a result of living in so many places at the same time. I could have started a used clothing store by just selling my own. Instead I actually decided it would be a good idea to go around buying up old clothes that people had given away to thrift stores. This is really precious. So I went around collecting a whole lot of what I once saw as gems, and now i'm stuck with a home full of things that I don't need, and a store full of things that I don't need, and that will take me way too long to sell. Also, I've realized that having a store, for me, is a complete and utter nightmare. So I've just awakened from a nightmare that I've built up around myself, and I can't see any way out. As good an option as suicide seems, I really don't want to live on in infamy, as another of those fellows who was found hanging from a rope in his garage. Each day a new beginning right? I believe it's time to start throwing it all away to preserve myself, or whatever self there is worth saving in there. I pray to a god i'm not sure I believe in. I'm broken. Reading Of Human Bondage is not helping me, but it sure is engaging. It sure is pretty outside, but I just can't seem to grasp it. There you have it people. The end of the jumpsuits for me. It's time to get off this silly ship. I don't know where i'm going, and I have no idea how to get there. If I can just get rid of all this shit, it will be a beginning. But it's the mess inside that worries me the most.

the meaningless drivel of the universe

Matthew, one of our regular customers, was just enjoying the yellow ambiance of the store. He found a pair of brown Greet sunglasses, which resting on his nose, made him a perfect picture of a man walking straight and powerful out of the 70's. We talked about how every human being is closely related. Matthew said "white people are the first black people." I didn't quite understand how that worked, but I admitted that we did all come out of Africa. I just learned the other day that there is more genetic diversity between two chimpanzees in the same family group, than there is between any two human beings. Not that it really makes any difference. We are so closely related that we all seem utterly incapable of not acting like assholes. We are a most remarkable species, and we treat our fellow man like dirt. The more we can convince ourselves that he's different than us, the crueler we treat him. Mean monkeys walked out of Africa on our own two feet. Are we all Jews? That whole Israel area would have been a first stop on the trail out of our original homeland of Africa. Did skin get lighter the further north in Africa we went? Was Whitey born in Israel? Did that super volcano really explode 80,000 years or so ago, like they said on the History Channel, and kill all of us but fewer than 50,000. Those are our parents, All six, almost 7, billion of us. Yet we seem to easily ignore that fact, and amidst all the knowledge of our relation we have ourselves easily separated by race, religion, and sexual orientation. Oh well. We lock each other up and kill each other with impunity. Is there a God who cares? Or is it really so simple as the invention of God in our own image. The reflection of the observer. And so as we are cruel, but also gentle and loving, wrathful, as well as forgiving, so is our God. If there is a devil, he is inside all of us, just like God, but more than likely they are just two sides of one coin: us. Creation, destruction, creation, destruction. Om Nam Shiva.

Dr. James Hansen of Nasa--a to b aint gonna be easy

Twenty Years Later: Tipping Points Near on Global Warming

James Hansen

Tomorrow I will testify to Congress about global warming, 20 years after my 23 June 1988 testimony, which alerted the public that global warming was underway. There are striking similarities between then and now, but one big difference.

Again a wide gap has developed between what is understood about global warming by the relevant scientific community and what is known by policymakers and the public. Now, as then, frank assessment of scientific data yields conclusions that are shocking to the body politic. Now, as then, I can assert that these conclusions have a certainty exceeding 99 percent.

The difference is that now we have used up all slack in the schedule for actions needed to defuse the global warming time bomb. The next President and Congress must define a course next year in which the United States exerts leadership commensurate with our responsibility for the present dangerous situation.

Otherwise it will become impractical to constrain atmospheric carbon dioxide, the greenhouse gas produced in burning fossil fuels, to a level that prevents the climate system from passing tipping points that lead to disastrous climate changes that spiral dynamically out of humanity’s control.

Changes needed to preserve creation, the planet on which civilization developed, are clear. But the changes have been blocked by special interests, focused on short-term profits, who hold sway in Washington and other capitals.

I argue that a path yielding energy independence and a healthier environment is, barely, still possible. It requires a transformative change of direction in Washington in the next year.

On 23 June, 1988, I testified to a hearing, chaired by Senator Tim Wirth of Colorado, that the Earth had entered a long-term warming trend and that human-made greenhouse gases almost surely were responsible. I noted that global warming enhanced both extremes of the water cycle, meaning stronger droughts and forest fires, on the one hand, but also heavier rains and floods.

My testimony two decades ago was greeted with skepticism. But while skepticism is the lifeblood of science, it can confuse the public. As scientists examine a topic from all perspectives, it may appear that nothing is known with confidence. But from such broad open-minded study of all data, valid conclusions can be drawn.

My conclusions in 1988 were built on a wide range of inputs from basic physics, planetary studies, observations of on-going changes, and climate models. The evidence was strong enough that I could say it was time to “stop waffling.” I was sure that time would bring the scientific community to a similar consensus, as it has.

While international recognition of global warming was swift, actions have faltered. The U.S. refused to place limits on its emissions, and developing countries such as China and India rapidly increased their emissions.

What is at stake? Warming so far, about two degrees Fahrenheit over land areas, seems almost innocuous, being less than day-to-day weather fluctuations. But more warming is already “in-the-pipeline,” delayed only by the great inertia of the world ocean. And climate is nearing dangerous tipping points. Elements of a “perfect storm”, a global cataclysm, are assembled.

Climate can reach points such that amplifying feedbacks spur large rapid changes. Arctic sea ice is a current example. Global warming initiated sea ice melt, exposing darker ocean that absorbs more sunlight, melting more ice. As a result, without any additional greenhouse gases, the Arctic soon will be ice-free in the summer.

More ominous tipping points loom. West Antarctic and Greenland ice sheets are vulnerable to even small additional warming. These two-mile-thick behemoths respond slowly at first, but if disintegration gets well underway it will become unstoppable. Debate among scientists is only about how much sea level would rise by a given date. In my opinion, if emissions follow a business-as-usual scenario, sea level rise of at least two meters is likely this century. Hundreds of millions of people would become refugees. No stable shoreline would be reestablished in any time frame that humanity can conceive.

Animal and plant species are already stressed by climate change. Polar and alpine species will be pushed off the planet, if warming continues. Other species attempt to migrate, but as some are extinguished their interdependencies can cause ecosystem collapse. Mass extinctions, of more than half the species on the planet, have occurred several times when the Earth warmed as much as expected if greenhouse gases continue to increase. Biodiversity recovered, but it required hundreds of thousands of years.

The disturbing conclusion, documented in a paper I have written with several of the world’s leading climate experts, is that the safe level of atmospheric carbon dioxide is no more than 350 ppm (parts per million) and it may be less. Carbon dioxide amount is already 385 ppm and rising about 2 ppm per year. Stunning corollary: the oft-stated goal to keep global warming less than two degrees Celsius (3.6 degrees Fahrenheit) is a recipe for global disaster, not salvation.

These conclusions are based on paleoclimate data showing how the Earth responded to past levels of greenhouse gases and on observations showing how the world is responding to today’s carbon dioxide amount. The consequences of continued increase of greenhouse gases extend far beyond extermination of species and future sea level rise.

Arid subtropical climate zones are expanding poleward. Already an average expansion of about 250 miles has occurred, affecting the southern United States, the Mediterranean region, Australia and southern Africa. Forest fires and drying-up of lakes will increase further unless carbon dioxide growth is halted and reversed.

Mountain glaciers are the source of fresh water for hundreds of millions of people. These glaciers are receding world-wide, in the Himalayas, Andes and Rocky Mountains. They will disappear, leaving their rivers as trickles in late summer and fall, unless the growth of carbon dioxide is reversed.

Coral reefs, the rainforest of the ocean, are home for one-third of the species in the sea. Coral reefs are under stress for several reasons, including warming of the ocean, but especially because of ocean acidification, a direct effect of added carbon dioxide. Ocean life dependent on carbonate shells and skeletons is threatened by dissolution as the ocean becomes more acid.

Such phenomena, including the instability of Arctic sea ice and the great ice sheets at today’s carbon dioxide amount, show that we have already gone too far. We must draw down atmospheric carbon dioxide to preserve the planet we know. A level of no more than 350 ppm is still feasible, with the help of reforestation and improved agricultural practices, but just barely – time is running out.

Requirements to halt carbon dioxide growth follow from the size of fossil carbon reservoirs. Coal towers over oil and gas. Phase out of coal use except where the carbon is captured and stored below ground is the primary requirement for solving global warming.

Oil is used in vehicles where it is impractical to capture the carbon. But oil is running out. To preserve our planet we must also ensure that the next mobile energy source is not obtained by squeezing oil from coal, tar shale or other fossil fuels.

Fossil fuel reservoirs are finite, which is the main reason that prices are rising. We must move beyond fossil fuels eventually. Solution of the climate problem requires that we move to carbon-free energy promptly.

Special interests have blocked transition to our renewable energy future. Instead of moving heavily into renewable energies, fossil companies choose to spread doubt about global warming, as tobacco companies discredited the smoking-cancer link. Methods are sophisticated, including funding to help shape school textbook discussions of global warming.

CEOs of fossil energy companies know what they are doing and are aware of long-term consequences of continued business as usual. In my opinion, these CEOs should be tried for high crimes against humanity and nature.

Conviction of ExxonMobil and Peabody Coal CEOs will be no consolation, if we pass on a runaway climate to our children. Humanity would be impoverished by ravages of continually shifting shorelines and intensification of regional climate extremes. Loss of countless species would leave a more desolate planet.

If politicians remain at loggerheads, citizens must lead. We must demand a moratorium on new coal-fired power plants. We must block fossil fuel interests who aim to squeeze every last drop of oil from public lands, off-shore, and wilderness areas. Those last drops are no solution. They yield continued exorbitant profits for a short-sighted self-serving industry, but no alleviation of our addiction or long-term energy source.

Moving from fossil fuels to clean energy is challenging, yet transformative in ways that will be welcomed. Cheap, subsidized fossil fuels engendered bad habits. We import food from halfway around the world, for example, even with healthier products available from nearby fields. Local produce would be competitive if not for fossil fuel subsidies and the fact that climate change damages and costs, due to fossil fuels, are also borne by the public.

A price on emissions that cause harm is essential. Yes, a carbon tax. Carbon tax with 100 percent dividend is needed to wean us off fossil fuel addiction. Tax and dividend allows the marketplace, not politicians, to make investment decisions.

Carbon tax on coal, oil and gas is simple, applied at the first point of sale or port of entry. The entire tax must be returned to the public, an equal amount to each adult, a half-share for children. This dividend can be deposited monthly in an individual’s bank account.

Carbon tax with 100 percent dividend is non-regressive. On the contrary, you can bet that low and middle income people will find ways to limit their carbon tax and come out ahead. Profligate energy users will have to pay for their excesses.

Demand for low-carbon high-efficiency products will spur innovation, making our products more competitive on international markets. Carbon emissions will plummet as energy efficiency and renewable energies grow rapidly. Black soot, mercury and other fossil fuel emissions will decline. A brighter, cleaner future, with energy independence, is possible.
Washington likes to spend our tax money line-by-line. Swarms of high-priced lobbyists in alligator shoes help Congress decide where to spend, and in turn the lobbyists’ clients provide “campaign” money.

The public must send a message to Washington. Preserve our planet, creation, for our children and grandchildren, but do not use that as an excuse for more tax-and-spend. Let this be our motto: “One hundred percent dividend or fight!”

The next President must make a national low-loss electric grid an imperative. It will allow dispersed renewable energies to supplant fossil fuels for power generation. Technology exists for direct-current high-voltage buried transmission lines. Trunk lines can be completed in less than a decade and expanded analogous to interstate highways.
Government must also change utility regulations so that profits do not depend on selling ever more energy, but instead increase with efficiency. Building code and vehicle efficiency requirements must be improved and put on a path toward carbon neutrality.

The fossil-industry maintains its strangle-hold on Washington via demagoguery, using China and other developing nations as scapegoats to rationalize inaction. In fact, we produced most of the excess carbon in the air today, and it is to our advantage as a nation to move smartly in developing ways to reduce emissions. As with the ozone problem, developing countries can be allowed limited extra time to reduce emissions. They will cooperate: they have much to lose from climate change and much to gain from clean air and reduced dependence on fossil fuels.
We must establish fair agreements with other countries. However, our own tax and dividend should start immediately. We have much to gain from it as a nation, and other countries will copy our success. If necessary, import duties on products from uncooperative countries can level the playing field, with the import tax added to the dividend pool.

Democracy works, but sometimes churns slowly. Time is short. The 2008 election is critical for the planet. If Americans turn out to pasture the most brontosaurian congressmen, if Washington adapts to address climate change, our children and grandchildren can still hold great expectations.

oops

How easy it is to forget the self. To return is to be free again. To come back to the one, to the soul, is to return. The all lives inside the one. We exist inside the self. There is nothing outside but the reflection of within. Everything is here. That beautiful self within makes it easier to say goodbye to the reflection we seek without. Reproduction is just another illusion. The production exists without. To forget the self is to seek the other. This forgetfulness is life. It keeps things interesting. But then the illusion collapses, and we are forced to find the self again; and then begin to forget ourselves once more. Our nature is to seek, and we find ourselves and forget ourselves, and then we die. Goodbye illusion. Enjoy your concert.

Life Goes On

Well what do you know? We survived another Friday the 13th, and put the nuclear holocaust on the back burner for another day. One day at a time, as the saying goes. Life goes on. It's not that big a deal.

So the other day, my friend Matthew and I, with eyes wide, and foggy brained, discussed the all, standing in the sun, as I ignored my work duties. Matt is a bearded fellow with bright ideas and a strong belief in "the sacred herb." My belief in the same herb is not so faithful, as things get cloudy after awhile in the high hills of my dome. But on this occasion, Matt brought me back to the sunny heights with talk of Rasta and the interconnectedness of all. He brought it home again, for a moment, as I expressed my frustration with the great load of meaning and non-meaning in this age of lost innocence and the Death of the American Dream. As I struggled to keep some connection to some higher meaning outside the pipe, old Matt explained that we are simply the eyes of God witnessing our own creation. God, he told me, the creator, had no way of observing the creation; and here we are, the observers of the earth, separated from pure being by our questioning minds. In the midst of consequences of 1000's of years of our own inventions, it is becoming increasingly obvious that eating of the tree of knowledge may really have been a terrible idea. Now we are stuck in information overload. Knowledge is meaningless now, because too much information finally led us back to relativity, which took the wind out of our choice to be. Not to be seems far easier amidst the guilt of the Tipping Point. Man has become the weapon of vengeance upon ourselves and our garden, which God never was. So according to my estimation of the meaning of Matt, we are witnessing the imperfection of the creator, through the obviousness of our own imperfection. The Creator couldn't see itself, so we came to see it for her; and so to observe our own imperfection, as the masters of this planet, is also to see the imperfection of the creation of God. We ate the apple didn't we? Of course we did. So did the creator see its own reflection through us? Life and Death, life and death, life and death, is less than perfection. Existence is life and death, molecules popping in and out of existence. Maybe we don't die "over there," but we are stuck in the observation of over here, and are totally attached to this. We have yet to comprehend the unknown, we only whistle and pretend. The unknown is where we understand the powerlessness of creation. Does the Creator really have any power beyond what has been created? Our mistakes seem to be evidence that we are the acting creators. Our power over our own existence in the choices we make, seems to indicate that our power is intact, but we cannot escape our role as observers. We are the judges, and we stand before the judgment of ourselves. The creator must be experiencing its own powerlessness as it watches us spiral into our own destruction. The human being has become a force of nature, changing the face of the earth as we act in consciousness unlike the unthinking hurricane or earthquake. I was hip to the experience of feeling like the eyes of God observing its own imperfection in my own dissatisfaction with reality. We are coming up on 7 billion pairs of eyes here on earth to observe with. Come in Honolulu! We still can't seem to see a goddamn thing, so stuck are we on our individuality. But we are the same eyes, looking out at each other as if we are separate. Maybe that is how God feels. Looking out on the world that it created, powerless over its imperfection, and lonely because existence seems incapable of looking back into the eyes of itself to admit that there is no separation. I'm hungry, anyone for a taco?

Video Game sales are up 45% in the first 5 months of the year. Has the quality of reality outside the door gone down 45% in the same period? Grand Theft Auto IV is driving the upswing with massive sales as the top seller of the year, having sold 4.2 million copies. What's missing from our regular life? What are the people going to the games for most? We must not be getting enough killing, stealing, and prostitutin in our regular lives. I have a feeling the Japanese Knife killer was an avid video gamer. I think once you play enough games you long to bring your virtual world into the real one. Is it any surprise that we generally play war games before we go to war? Oh I don't know, maybe not. Why are we filling our minds with such crap? If we create reality, then why are we making such a nasty one? For some reason the Care Bears game just doesn't sell. I guess we are the lizards, and we just don't care.

Well, it's friday, the 13th, again, so we should all be very afraid that something bad will happen. We can sit paralyzed in fear all day. I feel like the whole show is tumbling down. The human race has figured too much out, and now life is so complicated that the dangers of existence are ready to overwhelm us. Like the Large Hadron Collider at CERN which threatens to create a small black hole which could conceivably swallow the earth, possibly in just a few years, as it expands. Yep, the first world sure is an interesting place to follow the news. Smart people are the dumbest people on earth. Let's invent this to fix that, and we'll let somebody else worry about fixing all the problems that our little quick fix will cause. It's like this whole thing about getting the "standard of living" up around the world. We are sold this hawbaggery all the time. Sure, having a high standard of living is great. We get to eat food from all over the world, while the third world starves. We get to drive in cars, fly in airplanes, and have our lights on all the time, while the have-nots just get a warming planet, and deteriorating farming conditions. The faster the first world grows, the more of a middle class is created in China, India, and the rest of the world, the faster the supplies that the planet can provide will be used up in the waste wash of consumerism. By spreading apple pie and the American way, we are accelerating the demise of human life on the planet. The way we live is not sustainable, and we are on the verge of the back lash. We were #1. Not anymore. We made our bed, and we've been busy making the bed of the rest of the world, and now we are all in bed together, and it's getting dirty. Really dirty. What am I talking about? It's a beautiful day. I'm gonna go out whistling and buy an expensive breakfast of imported foods. Mmm. I have yet to find a drug that completely removes the feeling of guilt which threatens to overwhelm. Television works pretty good. Maybe i'll turn on CNN, and see what's happening between us and them. But wait. We're all on the same boat, orbiting around the sun, in the midst of this vast universe of the unknown. It could all be so much fun if I didn't know how to read, if I wasn't subjected to all this information. The world is as small as we make it. I sure wish this town had an Arby's.