The Parade Continues into the Night

So the last one was rough, so we thought we would include our assignment for a baptismal rite for worship class. It's not your average fare, but you might get a laugh. But if you are having a hard time, like this lunatic is at this very moment, then may you be blessed. May light shine down upon you my brothers and sisters, and may we unfold beauty, truth, and miracles. Blessings upon you.

This rite will be non-traditional and would be performed on either children or in adult "converions." If there is water nearby, either open ocean (cleanliness to be taken into consideration), or fresh clean lake, or slowly moving river water, then these would be fine for either full immersion, or dipping and splashing depending on the initiates preference. If landlocked or in a church setting, a wading pool, bird bath, or a small bowl with blessed water can be substituted.

Leader in Normal text, initiate or family, people in bold. The theoretical initiate in this case will be named Frederick.

Welcome All to this blessed ceremony where we will cleanse Frederick and welcome him with open arms, offering the blessed life-giving water upon him, to symbolically cleanse him of all impurity, anger, pain, sadness, and confusion. God will come down in this way, blessing and purifying this water, and it will be poured over our dear friend and family member Frederick symbolizing his membership in the human race. (or he will be submerged).

Frederick, do you acknowledge that you are a member of the human race, born of the same blood as all other human beings, with your origin here, on this mother planet?

I do.

Frederick, do you acknowledge the Oneness of the Universe, the interconnectivity of all life and interdependence of all living beings?

I do.

Do you promise to work in this lifetime for the betterment of our human race, to take care of, and be conscious of, the planet which sustains your life, in its rotation around the power source of the Sun, to consciously work to leave this life supporting planet in a better, more healthy state, than it is today, for your relatives, the descendants of the human race, respecting your ancestors and The Great Spirit in this way?

I do.

Then Frederick, with this water, I initiate you into the fold of the Universal Spirit. Be cleansed. Be purified. By the power of the Universal Spirit, I wash all impurities from you, all negative energy from you, may all lies be swept away, washed away, be gone, may light surround you, may love surround you, may peace surround you, may you be happy, may you be well, may you be free from suffering. May you go out into the world Frederick and bring light, love, hope, faith, purity, joy, and truth into the world. Iwatchupa! Wetaha!