Leave that girl alone.

Is anyone else out there feeling a little dissatisfied, a little lonely, a little strange? I keep checking Facebook, browsing Google News, The New York Times, the Huffington Post, and I'm coming up short. Maybe it's just because I can't seem to stay in one place long enough to keep a close group of intimate friends, but I'm just always looking out there, searching, seeking, running. The news is terrible. War, oil spill, patriarchy, oppression, politics, criminal governments, unemployment, rape and murder. Not so nice. Facebook is empty, there is everybody looking happy, all the time. Here is what we did. Here is me looking pretty on a beach, out drinking with friends, at this great concert, at a wedding, etc. etc. etc. Does anyone get depressed anymore? Judging from the Facebook updates it wouldn't seem so. If there is any depression going on it is usually cloaked in some vague cynicism. "I'm depressed." Then someone writes "LMAO." yea. hah. hah. hah. It's no wonder there is so much drug and alcohol abuse, at least that is something you can do socially which usually involves turning off the computer. "Hey pass that joint..." hah. "LMAO." I wonder how many people use their little computer video camera to film their suicide. A sad thought. And someone would laugh.
I'm not considering suicide or anything. But drugs and alcohol, I sure consider those sometimes. I bought a packet of Samson rolling tobacco today. A little fresh brown death to keep me rooted to the ground for a change. Nothing special. The Grouse defriended me on Facebook. LMAO. I was actually going to defriend her after she really laid down the law and made it clear that I need to move on. I think it was something to the extent of "Nothing is ever going to happen between us, you're not Jewish, I'm looking for someone who is Jewish and who will fit into my family. Quit living in a fairy tale, life is not a novel." This may have been a gentle way of saying LMTFA (leave me the fuck alone), and I have to admit that I've put enough nails in the coffin of our non-existent relationship to feel compelled to respect her request. But I still think life is a fairy tale, and who is she to say that this isn't all a novel? I mean it makes about as much sense as, say, walking around on a planet orbiting the sun in a vast universe of mostly empty space. But who am I to say?
Well who am I. I am the nothing that creeps in the night. I am a manifestation of the void, just another lunatic, another fool, another dreamer. But I love you. The Big You. The holy family of our human race. I even love Glenn Beck. What a guy! Each and every one. Starting with the one who started the whole damn show of opening my wounded heart, and her name was Jenn. The universe in my novel has been unfolding ever since. But she did tell me to LHTFA. So I guess that means i'm getting another chance to walk into the unknown. OK then. I'll just see if there is anything new on Huffington post, check for some interesting Facebook status updates, and maybe write one of my own that says something like: freedom from the known.