That brings us back to God

So I was closing my eyes in this darkness and saw the skull and heard the people talking about evil, and where is God because of death, and we were back to fear and blah, blah, blah. So they were asking what is God, and who is in control, and the scientists were smashing particles together looking for the missing link, the smallest invisible particle of them all, and we were all afraid of dying, and thought there was evil, and, and, and- Wait. Where is God in all this confusion?
If we are temporary and beneath this flesh on my face is a bone dry skull someday, and then dust a few days later, isn't God still infinite? The God which encompasses all existence, the Big One, which is behind all the universes, planets, stars, cells, particles, and atoms, behind even ourselves; isn't that One infinite?
If that God is infinite, the Big One, the Great Creator, it not only encompasses the entire universe, but we also, therefor, all exist within God, as we are part of the same universe which God encompasses. The infinite God must encompass all the manifest realm if this is all the manifestation of the God of Creation.
So despite the skull that awaits my face, I am more than impermanent, for like the universe, I am also a manifestation of God.
Remember, all the universes of universes are Its creation, Its manifestation, and so also are all the molecules.
In the darkness I saw the spinning helix of DNA in all the lovely colors we draw it in our pictures. Complex as the universe and infinitely creative, that DNA molecule is another manifestation of God. The more complex it makes itself, the more complex we become. Here we are, big complex conglomerations of molecules, considering ourselves, and existence, worrying about our temporary skulls, which are like hermit shells for the DNA of God.

Paw breath of infinity

Aloha.
Not much to report. Squelch in the blender in Hawaii. Debating peyote. I'm so utterly sane, I can't stand it. I long for madness. This sludge brain quieted by lamotrigine, longs to move at the fast pace of old. But alas, the race car brain ever ends in sanitary splendor in a comfy psychiatric ward playing ping pong.
Smoke my claw horn wee haw! And we'll all sing songs like Ding Dong Daddies from Dumas.

Leave that girl alone.

Is anyone else out there feeling a little dissatisfied, a little lonely, a little strange? I keep checking Facebook, browsing Google News, The New York Times, the Huffington Post, and I'm coming up short. Maybe it's just because I can't seem to stay in one place long enough to keep a close group of intimate friends, but I'm just always looking out there, searching, seeking, running. The news is terrible. War, oil spill, patriarchy, oppression, politics, criminal governments, unemployment, rape and murder. Not so nice. Facebook is empty, there is everybody looking happy, all the time. Here is what we did. Here is me looking pretty on a beach, out drinking with friends, at this great concert, at a wedding, etc. etc. etc. Does anyone get depressed anymore? Judging from the Facebook updates it wouldn't seem so. If there is any depression going on it is usually cloaked in some vague cynicism. "I'm depressed." Then someone writes "LMAO." yea. hah. hah. hah. It's no wonder there is so much drug and alcohol abuse, at least that is something you can do socially which usually involves turning off the computer. "Hey pass that joint..." hah. "LMAO." I wonder how many people use their little computer video camera to film their suicide. A sad thought. And someone would laugh.
I'm not considering suicide or anything. But drugs and alcohol, I sure consider those sometimes. I bought a packet of Samson rolling tobacco today. A little fresh brown death to keep me rooted to the ground for a change. Nothing special. The Grouse defriended me on Facebook. LMAO. I was actually going to defriend her after she really laid down the law and made it clear that I need to move on. I think it was something to the extent of "Nothing is ever going to happen between us, you're not Jewish, I'm looking for someone who is Jewish and who will fit into my family. Quit living in a fairy tale, life is not a novel." This may have been a gentle way of saying LMTFA (leave me the fuck alone), and I have to admit that I've put enough nails in the coffin of our non-existent relationship to feel compelled to respect her request. But I still think life is a fairy tale, and who is she to say that this isn't all a novel? I mean it makes about as much sense as, say, walking around on a planet orbiting the sun in a vast universe of mostly empty space. But who am I to say?
Well who am I. I am the nothing that creeps in the night. I am a manifestation of the void, just another lunatic, another fool, another dreamer. But I love you. The Big You. The holy family of our human race. I even love Glenn Beck. What a guy! Each and every one. Starting with the one who started the whole damn show of opening my wounded heart, and her name was Jenn. The universe in my novel has been unfolding ever since. But she did tell me to LHTFA. So I guess that means i'm getting another chance to walk into the unknown. OK then. I'll just see if there is anything new on Huffington post, check for some interesting Facebook status updates, and maybe write one of my own that says something like: freedom from the known.

From Fall 2002

7 years of childhood
Never did grow up
Old coffee syrup in an empty cup
I was never understood
I’m an old kid in a wrinkled suit
Life’s voice is dull and quiet
The news a gentle riot
In the kitchen eating fruit
Monuments in kitchen doors
Everybody getting laid
Mommies pimps and daddies whores
As candles burn the soft crusade
It seems like life is a bit less real
Death wanders across the plain
And a very dull pain that I can’t quite feel
Here I’m staring in the mirror again

A Poem from August 2002

Here is the ceremony
Nights full clear sky moon
Twinkle twinkle sparkling leaves
Aroused by the gentle wind

The full moon whispers
and the slow fools wander now as the gray hallucinations pass
The August warm midnight acrobatic climax
Only a light shiver of cool crispation touches my skin
To signal the coming of another seasons change

Everything is tingling in the melonish wetness of life
as the time approaches when life drys out
grows brittle with age
falls
and is taken by the earth

Tonight we are all together in the light midnight sky
The glowing white magic circus moon
The cloud illuminator
Fantastic white sky beacon
Master of the evening that is not death

Gray hallucinations on the ground.