March 11, 1999, Wat Umong, Northern Thailand (from the journal)

Love is a flower garden watered by tears (quote written on a tree)

Look at everything and find nothing
Look at nothing and find everything

Here I sit,
Beside a peaceful paradise
Thinking thoughts already pondered.
Wanting to bring pictures home to prove something
I cannot let my minds knowledge suffice.
Lone Ant marching in the shadow
Inches away another individual in the sun
Over leaves and over stones
stepping softly in their home.
I object and do deny
their right of passage by and by
And why?
For moments of whistling sadness do I sit and watch the rooster
sounding his royal screech?
Now rooster watch me watch the fly eat me.
Why stop it, though I want to so badly,
Is it not true that I am only being my best, even if only to give life to a fly?
It's OK

I am food
I am self
I am nothing
I am food
I am self
I am everything
Life is life
Life is food
Life is sex
I am sex
I am life
I am
I am full
I am empty
As is life
There is no beginning and there is no end
but there is.
There is no plot
There is no climax
but there is.
So I am what is
where I am
So I should know what is
where I am
But there is what is without self
and this is where one can find peace
For when there is no self
there is peace
and there is.

America

Another day

Sitting at Bleu Sky hotel Indian restaurant

Overeating chicken biryani and drinking chai

The freshman class has arrived

Really packing it in

Twice as much as i needed

There really isnt much to worry about

All luxury problems

In the midst of illusion

Test it out and figure it out for yourself.

Really think you know whats going on here?

Keep thinking

Well

moving on

I'm feeling better this afternoon

And chai really does taste better with sugar

All these students cruising around

and it's just life

And it does not make sense

No matter how much sense they try and make of it

This is a miracle

Floating around in the midst of madness

In the midst of existence

In the midst of Nothing

Doctor Who?

Making circles in the solar system
Hanging Christmas lights with spaceships
Building space stations
and talking to God on a cellular phone
Suddenly looks up
and sees Doctor Who on the shelf
in red letters
A Journey Through Time
on a bright yellow sign
Drink some tea Goose Stranger
and eat your weight in slime
The gelatin is in the hen house
and there's lipstick on the vine

Drunk (from October of 2004)

The thrown book spins through the air
and slides off the dark wooden table
onto a chair made of pine branches
The faces are soft
feelings jagged
Here
watching the rose petals darken and shrink
The lonesome flower drips tears
petal after petal
falling into the darkness beneath
The dying petals leave nothing
but emptiness that wants to be a flower

sober is the hardest drug I've ever done.

Brief Poem Break (Sweat Brain)

Sveld Nib tree man
Walking into the apple store
behind all his friends
Forgotten in a foreign country amidst everyone
Trying to find success
Rushing toward inevitability
Rushing nowhere
Busy on the move
Diamonds
Diamonds forever
Rings and smoke
wafting through the ether
in the soft crusade
All the little Jewish Children
cut us up into pieces
Drowning our tidbits in wine
Sucking out our nutriment
We're all Jews now
Velge Nilge
Transvictumtorium
Does that make sense to you Glench Ditch?
If not wee haw, then fledge nidge and slime
Have a nice time.