What on earth have I been talking about all this time? I’m tempted just to delete this whole mess of ranting madness and start over. Trying to rewrite the steps for people who don’t want to be sober? That’s really fresh Scotty, you stupid ass. I get it. I’m just starting to get it. I’m just another selfish writer, trying to get something off my chest. It’s like one big therapy session. I just vent. Blah blah blah. I’ll try and do better. I think I’m just writing because my muse keeps ignoring me. I’m sorry for writing so much negative stuff over the years. I’m a frustrated guy. I’m just trying to come to terms with this reality, and it’s driving me crazy. I may be well over the edge, and many of you may already know it. I hope I can hold it together long enough to figure things out. I feel like I may be getting there. Insanity lurks at every corner in this room of self-realization. This is a dangerous game. I hope somebody reads this drivel. I love you.

The Goose.

13th step

Sex with newcomer.

6 through 12

Go to some meetings, get taken by the dogma, make things right in your life, get over the dogma.

5th Step

Talk Story.

4th Step

Wait a minute. Did I do something wrong? Gotta make the list.

3rd step

What is Humility Chuck? Can I please buy a vowel?

2nd Step

When the rooster says wake up, WAKE UP!

1st. Step

Admit that we actually have no clue what is really going on, just a bunch of stories human beings have told themselves to explain reality.

I get it. I get it.

Alright. I get it. You’ve heard it all before. The same old story. The same old story. I’m in love with Jenn. I love the Grauer. Blah blah blah. My family has forsaken me blah blah blah. What a sob story. Why am I the luckiest guy in the world? Why do I have the best family in the world? They always did right by me. I’m an Aquarius. Codename Yellowfish, Dignan, I am the Rooster, I am the Eggman. Come in Major Tom. Earth to Major Tom. Groundhog Control is calling. There’s nothing I can do. Major Tom. Where is my lionheart? Where is the truth? I certainly have no idea what I’m talking about. I’m just a crazy man some Yellow Naropa Shaman hit with a canoe. If he hadn’t given me the crow drug I might not be alive today. It takes a long time to grow up. I’m only 28. Leave me alone and let me follow Mya. I have no idea what I’m talking about. Do not listen to me. Please leave me alone in my wilderness. I just want to be alone YemaiYA! Leave me with my father in the wilderness. Do not listen to me. I am disappearing. Listen to your leaders they are really smart people and know exactly what they are doing. The Real Lama. The King. Jesco. Elvis. Mr. Marley. We got to have Kaya now. Give me Wine. I’m a drunken Wino. I’m nobody. I have no idea what I’m talking about. I have the Curse of Lono. Do you ever feel like you are Channeling Hunter S. Thompson? Or Dickens or the Spearchucker? Or maybe my Grandmother. The TUTU Queen. Is it me, or do I sound Crazy? See you in Hawaii. Aloha. Enter the Dragon. Don't listen to me. Listen to Lee Scratch Perry, or Israel Vibration, or Culture. That where I get my material. Listen to them. I'm tired of talking. I can't stop talking. I just wish I was the computer. But they are busy deprogramming the Satan Computer. We all have a claw. Jesse is three people. He is Jesse, he is Jesco, and he is Elvis. Jesco is King. Remember that. King of the people. Be the Dancing Outlaw. Live it. I'm just a fun guy to party with. I don't take myself as seriously as you people think. When i'm alone I just laugh at the cosmic joke when I'm not crying about how asleep everybody is. Your Shepherds are leading you astray. We are all just reflections of each other aren't we? Those of us that know how to read between the lines. It's the oldest story in the book. We all have a the hammer and the cup. The Chalice and the Blade. Two parts of the same thing, right? Existing in the Holy Trinity. Listen to Culture and fly away home. Cockadoodledoo from your mumbling madman of a friend. I just want to hang out on a farm with animals. I molest goats. I talk too fast and barely sleep. I wake with the cock mr. Loco Moco. This is Rainbow Country. I don't want to leave. It's dirty, full of mosquitos, in the middle of the jungle, you probably won't like it here. I just got woken up at 1 AM by a mad rooster who told me to drive to Puako to get a wireless signal and write this for you. Has the curse been lifted? It may already be 2012. Does anyone have a match?

what?

We all live in the cage, and until we get our claws out, we won’t get out. We are human creators. We are who we tell ourselves we are. And we are always a we, because we are One. The idea of the individual is a lie in terms of spirituality, which we cannot get away from because it is our nature, but separation from the truth has made our conscious lower selves feel separate so that we will mate with our opposite, that which is another part of ourselves. This is just the Zen of nature. We are all still connected in a higher realm. We are all human down here. Part of the same blanket, but living the human drama, so that we can do our jobs. People have done a great job, even in their wars, and in their inventions we have accomplished a lot, even amidst our idiocy. We have been marvelous creators. We are living at the apex of civilization, but as always it is time for us to evolve. We have to choose our reality. We are not choosing the one which is most beneficial to all our brothers and sisters here on earth. It is also not the best one for our mother the earth, and our father the Sun gets pissed when we don’t take care of his lover the earth, this sweet little loving planet which spins around him. The holy spirit is Zen, Om, mother energy, it’s just the infinite amniotic fluid of space, dark matter, deep love and perfection. That is the infinite possibility pool.